Asch only scratched the surface

Priority 1: Self preservation Priority 2: Reproduce This is what we are taught, but it's not what I see. People give their lives in the pursuit of acceptance or due to lack of it. Would this not mean that there's a precedence to self preservation? Suicide cults, military, suicide bombers all willing to give their lives. The Asch experiment on conformity proves that we'll sacrifice what we know is right, in order to "fit in". It is my belief that the Asch experiment only scratched the surface of what we will do, in order to be accepted by the ones we wish to emulate. Priority 1: Acceptance Priority 2: Self preservation Priority 3: Reproduce It doesn't make sense psychologically, but it does explain society much clearer, don't you think? What does this say about our psychology, our nature, our future, our destiny, our purpose? I am very interested in feedback from those of you, who have an opinion, whether it is in agreement to my post, or the contrary.

they leave their scent on everything they touch

Funding for my search runs low. Perhaps the search itself is futile. I spoke with Derek on the subject via Skype, a few days ago. He said he may have options available to me in order to prolong my search, but I didn't like the tone in his voice. I could just be paranoid. I must admit I'm at a disadvantage when conversing with someone by phone, as I cannot detect the scent of fear, adrenaline and other emotions and chemicals that one may attempt to elude from me. The militia continues to expand the perimeter, but there have been a few setbacks due to visits from certain politicians. Homeland Security is thorough when securing territory. The government's security and surveillance is an ever-growing threat to me. Some days I fear that the time of confrontation, quickly approaches. Other days I long for it and it doesn't seem to come quick enough. For now I watch them, attempting to watch me. They are sure to watch all of you. It's a good thing they leave their scent on everything they touch. I find their audio and video surveillance equipment disguised as rocks, behind vinyl siding panels, in air-conditioning units, fixed atop radio antennas, billboards, trees, you name it. I remove the ones I can ( meaning when I can make it look like an accident, malfunction or "act of god"). When I can't I make sure to document the location for myself, as well as the militia. I've yet to spot a "drone" plane and I often wonder if they've spotted me. The only defense I have against them is to listen to the night sky, change my location often and use extreme caution when leaving and returning to the compound.

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

Sex: No matter what trends come and go, no matter what the politicians, priests and parents tell you, sex will always be a priority. Scientists rank it as #2, just behind self preservation. Religions can tell you it's good or bad, government can control it or liberate it, parents can condone it or forbid it...all in all, you're still going to have sex. It is the primal urge that supersedes anything that anyone could ever teach you. It is the "animal" in us that refuses to die. Drugs: The drugs referred to in the phrase "sex, drugs and rock and roll are considered "recreational drugs". Most of them have had some sort of "healing" qualities in the past and have been part of medical practice. These days many of them are banned or illegal and usually taken in larger quantities than prescribed by doctors. There are countless numbers of narcotics, with countless effects, but they all seem to alter your perception of your environment, if taken in particular doses. They all seem to affect how you react to your environment. You "think differently". To be under the influence of recreational narcotics, is not considered "mainstream". Your thoughts and actions and influence, is not "mainstream". Rock and Roll: At the time that the phrase "sex, drugs and rock and roll" came to be used, rock and roll was a term used to describe any non-secular type music that encourage any form of non-conformity. Today's genre's would also include much of hip-hop, rock and roll, of course, heavy metal, alternative and many other forms of music that promote turning your speakers full volume and "losing yourself" in the music, or promoting a non-conformist attitude. Religious leaders have condemned sex, drugs and rock and roll at one time or another. Usually relating the acts to evil and violence. I find this to be disturbing, when more people have committed genocide, murder, rape and torture of others, in the name of religion than sex, drugs and rock and roll together. You can add in hip-hop, heavy metal and all the others if you wish and religion still wins by a long shot. If you would like you can throw in sex and drugs also...religion still wins. This brings me to the scientific conclusion that it may be safer and surely more humane to "go along with" sex, drugs and/ or rock and roll, and leave religion for conformist, delusional, genocidal, maniacs...or the general public, as you may call them.

The treeline

I grasp at ideas, like sparks of light that float above a bonfire. I hold them tightly, desperately, in hopes of finding a solution. I feel their energy surge through me in a flicker of hope. I watch them turn to ash, as I realize it's only another futile concept. My mind is coming unraveled without her. In the beginning I wasn't sure how long I could resist confrontation with them. Now I'm not sure that I want to resist. Perhaps I would rather insist on confrontation, on conflict, on carnage. As I fed earlier tonight, I decided to continue my hunt on other prey. Not necessarily to feed, as I was filled from my first kill of the evening. I hunted and tracked, just for kill. I spotted my prey sitting about a hundred yards off. As I slowly moved in, I thought about the ones who attacked Derek a while ago. I thought about the ones at the airstrip. I stopped about thirty yards out from the unsuspecting victim and let my anger surge through my veins, letting out a thunderous roar. The "soon to be victim" peered up and fixed his gaze directly on me. He seemed to be contemplating or waiting further action on my part. As I clinched my fists and contorted into a "launching" position, like a runner at the starting line, my prey shook from his gaze. He quickly darted toward the nearest treeline. The ground shook beneath me as I took my first strides. As the adrenaline began pounding into my temples, I accelerated further. I was closing in quickly. The exhausted prey running off pure adrenaline, slowly decelerated and quickly glanced back at his attacker. He was several feet from the treeline. Once inside, he could hide in one of countless places. How close he had come to being my sacrifice. He had underestimated me. As he glanced back at me, I leaped forward. He had just enough time to resume his position toward the treeline, before my fingertips came from behind and grasped his fragile throat. I squeezed as my body's momentum brought me ever-closer to him. I squeezed harder still as my salivating fangs, made themselves known to his flesh. Both our hearts beat infinite times in that moment, as my gums and my tongue and the roof of my palate, felt his warm vitality flow forth. I gripped him tighter as his body twisted and jerked in an attempt to flee. My right forefinger tore through the side of his spine as I grasped and bit and tore in a rage and fit of adrenaline, anger and testosterone. Just beyond the treeline, his female and offspring, watched in horror. I had caught a glimpse of them all, just before making contact with the "now deceased". As I stood feeding off his twitching carcass, I expected my humanity to over-ride my crazed fit and deliver unmeasurable remorse...but nothing. The flow of testosterone weakened into waves and as they came and went, I felt no remorse, no regret, only hungrier for more. I viewed the family, frozen in petrification. I looked each of them in the eye, then while viewing them all and having their paternal figure limp in my teeth, I let out a low grumble. The family shot through the forest and into the darkness. This was the first time in a while, I hadn't felt like "the victim". I felt powerful...not because I had made the kill, but because I wasn't running. I wasn't hiding. I was the aggressor...the harbinger. Was this going to make me feel better about what happened at the airstrip...NO! ...But it might be a step in the right direction.

The lost symbiosis between man-kind and Vampire

Not an eventful weekend. As I watch tonight, I do not know if it is evidence of solace that I seek or evidence to the contrary. I no longer feel empathy for the society I once aspired to join. There will never again be a symbiosis between man-kind and Vampire. A resolution will soon come to pass...it must.

Restraint does not become me

I arise this evening jaded with thoughts of vengeance. I watch atop my favorite balcony, jaded with thoughts of vengeance. I gnash my teeth in disgust and rage at the thought of what I've lost to the insecurities of man. I don't believe all of you to be this way, but like others before me, I feel backed into a corner...tortured. It is easy to stereotype, when you view nothing but scattered, hurried illusion of progress. If I were to act on impulse, it would mean a great awakening for mankind, as I smashed the illusion that man is at the top of the food chain...the evolutionary ladder. I watch day after day, the mundane bustling of everyone going nowhere. Like ants who scatter. I would be a candle that someone has ignited and planted atop the mound. The ants scurry out, one by one, ascending the candle to attack the flame...and one by one, meeting their demise. Their attack is ill-thought and of haste and panic. It is futile. I wear the Great Phoenix upon my palm. I am a warrior...a harbinger of death. As the nights pass, I see less and less logic in restraint. Should I not react to the vile disregard that I was given? Do I not reign supreme over the ones who partake in the search for my kind? Am I not Vampire? I have instructed a small group of the militia, to seek out locations of various "violators of the peace", between man and Vampire. I have sought answers from Derek about the airstrip and the operation that was carried out that night. I will have my justice...my vengeance.

It's not okay

Another lonely night. Derek has gone and the militia men, constantly scout throughout the night in shifts, in order to further expand a safe perimeter. The men tell me that revolt is inevitable. If they had spoken to me before the happening at the airstrip about such things, I would have passed them off as paranoid, conspiracy theorists. I can no longer view them in this manner, for I have seen the inhumanity of soldiers and agents. I have seen the callousness of politicians and other officials. It seems as if man, and this country in particular, is hell-bent on waging war with others. The wars are not fought over rights of men, women and children. The wars are not fought over rights to medicines and nourishment. The wars are over greed, pride and lust to be the most dominant. The ones in charge, indoctrinate segregation to anyone who does not dress like you, talk like you, believe in your beliefs. You are taught that if they're not like you, their intentions must be evil, negative or violent. You suffer from over-exposure to the idea that it's okay to commit violent acts, murder and even genocide, to those who are different. Bombs light up the night sky in villages. Defenses are smashed, businesses are smashed, churches are smashed, schools are smashed, homes are smashed. Father's hold their wives and tell them "it will be okay". Wives hold their crying children and tell them "it will be okay". Hours go bye and bombs light up the night sky. Dead children are held by their mothers. Dead mothers are held by their dead husbands. It's not okay. What happened on that airstrip, was inspired by greed, pride and lust to be the most dominant. The ones who gave the orders, have the nerve to portray me as a monster. Do they even know what I am, what they are, what we could learn from one another? I don't want to hate them, but nothing else makes sense. I think deep down, I've always known what they stood for. I THOUGHT I knew what I stood for. I don't know anymore. I try and remain logical about all this, but my emotions run and my thoughts become discombobulated. I hope I find new answers and reason. If not, I look at man through jaded eyes forevermore.

You are beckoned! Now, show me Harbinger!

December 12, 2012 approaches. I expect all of my followers to do what they can to assist in "Operation Mayhem". Now is the time to show your dedication. What everyone MUST realize Do your part! Show me Vampire CNN acknowledges the power of intelligence and information Stop the Ukraine Our beloved leaders

Role Call !!!

For those who are open-minded and want more from this one chance at life: You’re going to have to step back, look at ALL of it objectively and IMMEDIATELY DROP all the b.s., no matter how many people say it’s accurate. Until then, you are doing no good for yourself or anyone else. I don't claim to know all the answers, but I will say that it seems society is not what it claims. Evidence appears to point to the contrary. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Jesus loves everyone, the government is doing all it can to make our lives easier from one generation to the next, maybe religions, laws, parents' rules and regulations should all be followed to the "T", without any question or objective perception. Maybe we should all be striving to encompass ourselves in a cubical that affords us a thirty year mortgage on a house that will become our "prison away from work" and the latest million and a half dollar super-car that we'll be sure to look like pompous, materialistic pricks driving. Let's throw some spinning rims and fine jewelry on the Mastercard, just to make sure we're so far in the hole we've dug for ourselves, we can't even see the surface any longer, so we don't even know which way to begin climbing. This is the "American Dream". Society will tell you that it brings happiness. Society will tell you that you should constantly strive for it. The harder you work, the more money you're taxed. The more expensive the items you purchase, the more you are taxed. Should you stand back and take a long hard look at the society we live in? Should you refuse to live this way if you don't see it giving you happiness? Should you revolt, if you are forced to play a part in this broken society? Religious leaders will tell you "No! Do not revolt. Turn the other cheek. Be passive. Pray into the air that you get a 'better hand' the next time around." Government officials (From the president to the mayors, teachers and cops) will say "No! Do not revolt. You should strive to be a law abiding citizen." Parents will tell you "No! Don't revolt. You should strive to own fine homes, automobiles, etc." Okay, let's assume that your parents love you and even if the governments and religions have hidden agendas, your parents wouldn't sacrifice your happiness to benefit society...unless they didn't know. Your parents and grandparents were preached to about "honor" and "moral just" and "defending our god given rights", then sent into Vietnam to "defend our christian nation". We now know that the Vietnam War was a hoax. The North Vietnamese did not fire on us and start the war. This was a sham concocted by the government. We now live in an age of information and we are learning more and more about the ruthless untruths and disregard for human life practiced by our government. Watch American soldiers were "defending our GOD GIVEN freedom" Watch Great works of our society Watch I guess Jesus doesn't care for Vietnamese babies. Uncle Sam obviously doesn't Religion and our "God given freedom", has been used to conduct the most vicious act of genocide in history. "TOTAL: When I take all the individual death tolls listed here, weed out the duplicates, fill in the blanks, apply Occam ("Pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate"), etc. I get a very rough total of 1½ M deaths in the Crusades." This quote is taken from Death count, due to christian crusades If anyone wishes to debate my findings, you are invited to chime in with whatever reply you wish. I only ask that you provide sources to back up your claims and/ or reasoning behind them. No bible versus please, as I have read the King James edition, as well as the NIV and find no documented proof to back any versus that condone the behavior we've witnessed from christianity throughout the ages. I maintain my position that religion and society are "hand in hand" in the undoing of humanity and human nature. To all those opposed: I look forward to your findings. YouTube - Videos from this email As soon as Christianity was legal (315), more and more pagan temples were destroyed by Christian mob. Pagan priests were killed. Between 315 and 6th century thousands of pagan believers were slain. Examples of destroyed Temples: the Sanctuary of Aesculap in Aegaea, the Temple of Aphrodite in Golgatha, Aphaka in Lebanon, the Heliopolis. Christian priests such as Mark of Arethusa or Cyrill of Heliopolis were famous as "temple destroyer." [DA468] Pagan services became punishable by death in 356. [DA468] Christian Emperor Theodosius (408-450) even had children executed, because they had been playing with remains of pagan statues. [DA469] According to Christian chroniclers he "followed meticulously all Christian teachings..." In 6th century pagans were declared void of all rights. In the early fourth century the philosopher Sopatros was executed on demand of Christian authorities. [DA466] The world famous female philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria was torn to pieces with glass fragments by a hysterical Christian mob led by a Christian minister named Peter, in a church, in 415. [DO19-25] -taken from http://www.truthbeknown.com/victims.htm I would advise minors and the weak of stomach, not to watch the following: God Given Rights This is similar to the witchcraft trials you may have learned about in school. Our society stems from such actions. YouTube - Videos from this email

Harbinger soon rears it's ugly head

I watch in disgust as my adversaries execute their plans: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXg2WsNCrW4&feature=related

To those who wish to challenge: The ball is in your court.

In the past I have posted entries claiming my belief in man's evolution from fire. I have received interesting comments from several groups of people and by interesting, I mean anything from fabricated, to vile to threatening. I have given reasons and resources that back my claim. One of the groups who likes to reply disrespectfully is the group that calls themselves christians. If any of my readers are christian, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am not a worshiper of such nonsense, nor will I ever be. In my experience, christians as a whole, are insecure, naive bigots who spend their time feeling superior by condemning people of other faiths, or no faith at all...and when their done, they turn on each other. So without further adieu, I will give examples of the sources from which I draw my opinions. Your God Is Based On Primitive Psychology That Promotes Passivity

Assisting hypocrites and blasphemers

Last night after surveying the downtown area, I decided to move to a different location. I settled myself atop the roof of some type of natural gas facility (I think). A couple of tractor-trailers and a fleet of yellow pickups below me. I watched as a man screamed into the air about someone's "ulterior motives" and how he would "never trust her again". I then saw the Motorola earpiece, and kind of smirked at myself, as I was about to declare the man insane for speaking so intensely to himself. I could hear and feel his heart beating from across the street. I could smell and taste the alcohol on his breath. I watched as he got into his foreign sedan and sped away. He was in no shape to drive, but who was I to stop him? Looking back at how events unfolded, I sometime wish I would have taken more chances. Of course I could always start today. All is particularly dull for the next few minutes, then a car pulls behind the store. An odd place to park, since there are spaces in the front near the door. My attention draws even closer to the vehicle as I can smell a rich mixture of gasoline and human adrenaline. The driver's heart is racing. The vehicle is left running while the driver exits and sprints to the front of the store. He looks in multiple directions with intense expectations in his eyes. Is he running from someone? He is a shorter, small framed man in dark clothes, except for his scuffed Nikes. As he rounds the corner to the door, he pulls a dark skull cap over his face. His intentions become clear. I was always taught to help those in need, but the thought now promotes a bitter taste in my mouth, due to the situation with Riley and the children she was attempting to assist. I can't see into the store from my location, but I wait to hear gunfire. After only a few moments, the front door swings open and the small framed man races out of the store. He makes a wide turn around the corner, then into his car and quickly disappears behind a nearby treeline. I still don't know if I feel guilty for not assisting the store clerk. I ponder my actions and as the authorities begin to arrive, I make myself scarce and work my way back towards the compound. I know Riley would want me to help the clerk, but at the same time, I would be assisting a society and government that has shown me nothing but hostility. A society and government that has tracked my people like animals and taken life without hesitation. Why should I assist such men, such hypocrites, such blasphemers of their own rules? I think I'm glad that I did not.

The mind has strengths and weaknesses

You may think that religions like Christianity, Judaism or Islam must be based on some kind of truth, in order for so many people to believe, but that's not necessarily true. First off, look at how the "domino effect" influences even strong minded people. You can say you're an independent thinker, but how many name brand items did you opt to purchase or request to have purchased for you in the past year? How many of those items do you know to be a superior product due to your own experience? How could you make such an absurd idea like an all-knowing god, if you can't perceive him with any of your senses? It's surprisingly easy. It's as simple as mixing things everyone knows to be true with lies that promote your intentions. As people become more comfortable with accepting the lies as plausible, because they're accompanied by facts, you can exaggerate your fictions even further and still find the majority of the masses to agree with you. Also, the power of suggestion can sometimes produce unreasonable results. Please watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il0u2s_WGXAWhy http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&v=XcywPdORySA&NR=1I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgDx5g9ql1gbeleive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcmvbXgmdsUwhat http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=OSsPfbup0ac&NR=1I http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=ZuometYfMTkdo. I don't want anyone to watch these and develop a sense of pessimism. Life can and should be a beautiful thing...enjoy it. I share this information with you in hopes of encouraging you to use your own minds and also to realize that the mind has strengths and weaknesses, so try and develop your own theories, concepts, opinions and judgements to live by. Remember, if you end up being wrong in a particular circumstance, don't be discouraged as we all make mistakes. If you learn from the experience, it is just that: an experience.

Through Vampire Eyes

I would like to remind everyone that I have had decades to research information that has led to my concepts and theories. This is again somewhat of a recap, but I want everyone to keep in mind that what you are fed by mass media, mass religion and mass public, is not always accurate. On the contrary, I find much of the current information being released to be of no importance, vague, tainted or outright incorrect. Please take the time to do your own research and find the truth for yourselves. I know it seems as if some of the things discussed on this page, don't pertain to you, but this is precisely the way that the ones in control have always propagandized their agenda. I was speaking with an acquaintance last night and what I wrote to him seemed to flow well, so I thought I would post it: My theory is that mankind had it right with the worship of Amun Ra. The only problem with having the masses worship such a fearless and intense god, is that mankind had a tendency to emulate him. The Pharaohs, priests, shaman etc. soon learned to preach of more humble and passive gods, thus our masses of passive "sheeple" we have today. All the better for the ones in power to maintain control. There are many arguments that fire is alive. Science usually declares fire as "non-living", because it doesn't spread it's DNA as it reproduces. By the same definition, viruses are "non-living", as they have but one strand of DNA and need a live cell in order to reproduce. Maybe the spreading of genetic code, as we know it, is an outdated way to characterize life. When I look at fire, I definitely see a living, breathing, consuming, reproducing creature. If fire IS alive, then it's much more obvious how we evolved. It's also obvious that concepts involving being "civilized" and "law abiding citizens" and "passive" would also be outdated concepts. I'm not saying there should be anarchy. Even fire has patterns of behavior and is predictable. I'm saying that we have been force-fed lies since early childhood and it may be in the best interest of us who are like-minded to collaborate and decide the most efficient and prosperous ways to live our life. Below is a very short, four minute, video that states that some of the oldest life man-kind knows of, is an ancient bacteria that grows from "black smokers" (hydrothermal vents), or in laymen's terms, bacteria that live in the fiery mantle spouting up through the ocean floor. Could this be where the first live organisms came from? Did the fiery mantle of the Earth, find a way to coexist with H2O by forming a hybrid fusion of fire and water?: More insight to the Truth

"Just kiddin' Abraham"

This entry is somewhat of a re-cap of things I've posted before, but I feel that I can't say it enough. I hope those of you who read this understand that I'm not preaching or exaggerating. On the contrary, I suggest you do your own research and make decisions based on your own findings. I believe that society has failed this generation far more than this generation has failed society. I believe that this culture is probably beyond repair and has been for quite some time. I believe it started at the dawn of civilization when man invented religion. Society condemns itself without question. The majority of the world cowers to the few in charge. The masses accept what the few at the top proclaim as fact. How could so many people be so naive, you may ask. The answer is simple: Brainwashing. During pre-kindergarten ages, our parents were taught fiction tales about a fat man in a red suit who brings them shiny, new, material possessions, because they followed all the rules. They're also taught that a supernatural, omnipotent peasant/carpenter, watches their every move and judges them constantly. Not to worry though, as long as they abide by rules, they are promised perfection, however those who don't follow the impossible rules of this totalitarian, dictator will be punished eternally with no chance for salvation. Your parents in turn, taught you the same stories. We are all slaves to the few at the top of the "economic food chain" who run the show. These power-hungry, genocidal giants, strip us of happiness, gratification and dignity, with talk of god, laws, rules and regulations until we are left feeling alone and empty. Why would they do such a thing? It's obvious, if you stop and think about it. Once you are empty inside, the capitalist nightmare we call our economy, can sell you various things that guarantee to fill your empty void. For ex.: Luxury automobiles and homes, designer clothing, drugs, alcohol and even the god who helped create the void. After all, if you'll believe in a god that loves us all, but told Abraham to take his child atop a mountain and stab a hole in his chest, only to exclaim at the last second "Just kiddin' Abraham. I just wanted to see if you would do it for me." If you'll believe that an "all loving" god, manifested his own child in human form, had him hunted like an animal, severely beaten and nailed to a chunk of wood to die in the dessert heat, in order to prove his love for man-kind. And if you'll believe there's a fat bastard who chuckles when you sit on his lap and has nothing but good things in mind for you, what won't you believe? It's not hard to see that society is crumbling. I'm not sure exactly what to do about it. I know I can't live like the "sheeple" who populate most of the country. The only answer I have for right now, is that all of us who are "like-minded" should collaborate on ideas and concepts, to see if we can come up with a new direction to head in, even if the masses don't/won't follow.

things of interest

of utter importance We should all hope that this information is inaccurate or exaggerated, but I have witnessed first hand, the governments ability to use unnecessary force and cover it up completely. The Federal I.D. didn't come to be, but your state issue I.D. or Driver's License has a bar code on the reverse side. Authorities can use this bar code to obtain your information from anywhere in the world.

Fate I can't make sense of

I'm missing Riley terribly. I often question religions, fate and things of this nature. If I could have any supernatural ability on this Earth, it would be the capability of knowing who to trust and to what extent I could trust them. Why can't I have the simple gift of knowing that she's okay and that I'll see her again someday? Is it too much to ask? It would bring so much comfort to me. I sit alone tonight perching on yet another balcony, overlooking the active downtown area of Winston-Salem. I watch in hopes to find answers. Answers to why humanity is so insecure and quick to segregate themselves from one another. You obviously feel most relaxed and have the most enjoyment from being amongst the congregation of others. Man is so quick to judge others as the others in turn judge him. Racial, cultural, social and economical divides, shred freedoms and camaraderies that you should be rejoicing in and benefiting from. I look for reasons for the fate that I've endured thus far. I can't make sense of it and the more disappointment I find in mankind, the more angry and hostile I feel inside. In the past I have tried so hard to be a fellow citizen and to participate and contribute to society, but now I can't help but feel distanced from people. I feel so much contempt for what happened on that airstrip. This contempt and rage is fueled ever-stronger each day. Derek sometimes speaks of revolt and the undoing of those who hold the keys to man's cages. I pass these thoughts off as nonsense or symptoms of trauma, but maybe he's right. Maybe vengeance is my only chance at peace. I sometimes look at the mighty Phoenix that was engraved into me and I remember the pride and dignity that my people indoctrinated in me. I feel like I have lost my way and that I am no longer a part of the beliefs instilled in me.

Reasonable and Necessary

Derek is back at the safe-house in Winston-Salem. He has vowed to leave the happening with the government agents, in the past. I'm not sure that I can trust him, but sometimes I'm not sure that I want to trust him. What I mean is that I sometimes have my own thoughts of revenge against Tyben and the group of military who engaged me at the airstrip. Sometimes I'm not sure if vengeance isn't the most reasonable reaction. Derek still has violent episodes from time to time, particularly when he suddenly awakens from sleep. We're still not sure if it's post traumatic stress disorder, or a reaction to the Vampire genes. Charles' reactions were much milder, but Charles was already much older and much less physically fit. Charles received the "dark gift" over years and years. Derek probably got a couple of years worth of venom in about four minutes. It was far more than enough to potentially kill him, but at the same time it was the necessary amount required for him to survive. I'm sure the side-effects will dissipate in time. I still speak with him and while he remains social, he still seems to be concealing something...holding back from me. I suppose maybe it's just his mindset after all that's happened.

Revelation

I would like a few moments of your time to further attempt to explain my views and concepts. While the views and concepts are my own, many are heavily based on others teachings and practices. There are however, some points that make them very unique. I believe in the big bang. I believe that everything came into existence with a monumental explosion. I believe that we are nothing more than remnants of that explosion. Alan Watts put it best by comparing the concept to throwing a bottle of black ink at a white canvas on the wall in "The Nature Of Consciousness" http://deoxy.org/w_nature.htm The place where the bottle shatters represents the "big bang". The ink is splattered against the canvas and lines of ink begin dripping down, taking the most efficient route down the canvas and away from the recent "explosion". Along the way, the ink may split apart into multiple lines or may join up with a separate line. The ink changes hues, thinning as it travels and splits apart and darkening when it emerges with another line. It's stated in "How Science Saved My Soul" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6w2M50_Xdk , that everything including humans, are made of carbon that is over fourteen trillion years old. This would suggest that we are all connected and symbiotically journey through life. I believe we are the product of matter that has been evolving since the big bang. If this belief is true, then to look to our most primitive ancestor in order to find answers for our existence and behavior, where would we start? The most primitive life known to man is ancient bacteria that emerges from the Earth's mantle into the ocean floor. Where did it come from? How did it obtain energy or "life"? I believe the bacteria evolved from fire. The Earth's mantle is nothing but fire and molten rock. Science states that fire is "non-living" because it doesn't reproduce by passing on genetic code. This seems a very close-minded way to look at things. Fire reproduces itself far more efficiently than any living thing. It seems as though the more "intelligent" a life form is, the longer it takes to produce offspring. Why would we base life only on genetics if we have examples of a creature that can breath oxygen, consume various resources, produce energy and behaviors, as well as reproduce at whatever rate it is fed? Think about it: If fire is alive, it makes perfect sense that it was that original energy that produced every living thing known to man. The worship of the Sun is the oldest religion we know. If a child is born into the world, it is primal. It is not yet influenced by religion, society, ethics, etc. We find that it abides by the most primal necessities for life. It eats when hungry, sleeps when it needs to conserve energy and learns about it's environment using the senses with which it is equipped. If left untainted, this individual would continue to practice such behaviors. A fire presents very similar behavior. If you light a candle, it will consume the wick as it's energy breaks down the wax barrier. The flame eats as much as it can obtain and consumes oxygen as well. If you cup your hands over it and deprive it of some of the oxygen, the flame will shrink down in order to conserve energy and "stay alive" longer. If you lift your hands, it will resume it's normal pace. If you offer it extra nourishment like a tablespoon full of lighter fluid, it will devour the excess and quickly as it's given and use the extra energy to burn yet more of the wax barrier in order to consume the wick, which offers stable nourishment. Two groups of fire will join in unison if put in contact with one another. Fire will adapt to the height and mass of flame that is most efficient. Light a match on fire. It will consume the matchstick at an even pace. Put the flame to a sheet of paper. The new nourishment is much easier to break down. The flame will split into two flames. One will continue to exist off the nourishment of the matchstick, while the flame that travels along the paper will consume at a much quicker pace on the easily digestible material. Once the paper is almost burned to completion, you will notice the flame attempt to shrink in order to prolong it's existence as the nourishment is no longer abundant. Fire exhibits many of the same behaviors as man as well as other animals, plants, bacteria and viruses. According to Science a virus is technically "non living", but we also know that they display definite behaviors once inside a living cell. Maybe science's way of segregating living from non-living is not as accurate as we would like to believe. Remember, science once told us that the world was flat. Okay, so let's assume that our ancestors were on the right track with the worship of Amun Ra. Why would we stray from this religion and grasp teachings of a Judaic God, Buddha and other mainstream religions of today? The mainstream gods and practices of today, teach individuals to be sharing, empathetic, passive, giving, modest etc. These behavioral concepts are witnessed in popular religions such as Christianity and Buddhism. You must also practice these concepts if you are to be a "law abiding citizen", "morally good person", "role model" etc. This would be fine except for a couple of problems: The first problem is that the ones who control, enforce and/or promote the indoctrination of such concepts, very seldom live by what they "preach". We can clearly see that the ones who lead the congregation under these rules, are almost never "morally good", "law abiding" or fit to be "role models". Let's take a closer look at psychology. If a person idolizes an idea or person, they strive to emulate the ideals, behaviors and teachings of such a concept or entity. Clever men figured this out long ago and decided to concoct the world's first religion. My belief is that once man stopped being nomads and began forming civilizations by raising crops and livestock, religion entered and began humanity's damnation. Concept: Thousands of years ago, a small civilization of people raised food and children in one designated place of land. People of the civilization often traded livestock, vegetables, fruits, even mates. There were of course the "alpha males" who dominated the weaker, but this was to soon change. They began to form language and communicate with one another as well as teach their young. They didn't exactly know the reason for their existence or purpose in life, but they knew the sun was responsible for the growth of their food and their health. It didn't take long for humanity to look to the sun as some kind of ruling force. One day one of the more clever "citizens" called all of the others to congregate in the center of their establishments. He told them of the power of the sun, which they already knew to be present. Then he personalized the sun, calling it a name ex. Amun Ra. The clever man told of how Ra had blessed man with food and health, but demanded respect and tribute be shown for his blessings. How did the clever one know these things? He explained that the answer was simple; The clever man said to have a special relationship with the all-powerful, all-knowing entity. He told the congregation that to favor him was to favor Ra. The congregation was informed that they should come to the clever civilian for guidance, as he would relay the inquisitions to Ra and return to them with Ra's answer. This announcement was probably made during a time of famine and/ or plague. People in despair have always been easier to manipulate, as they often grasp onto any concept that offers hope. It all seemed a "win-win" situation for the clever one. If the plague or famine passed, he would have proven his "power" and if the plague or famine was to be their demise, then at least he would do his best to remain in power until the very end. Of course the "alpha-males" were used to having their way with the food and women, so they weren't so quick to succumb to these new teachings. The alpha's threatened and questioned the power of the clever one. This is when he announced that his relationship with Ra was because of the Kinship between the clever one and the god. By claiming he was part god, the clever one now returned a threat to the alphas and questioned their superiority as well. The clever one probably ended his opposition by telling the congregation that the defiant alphas were the reason for the famine or plague. He explained that Ra was furious with the alphas for their lack of faith and respect. Some of the alphas probably realized the "strength in numbers" of the congregation and fell to their knees in hopes to be forgiven. The ones who still resisted were probably overwhelmed by the congregation and became the first "sacrifices" to Ra. As the faith of the congregation grew, the clever one profited from having the control over the group, to being given free food and drink by the congregation and their harvest as well as the freedom to have his way with any of the women in the group. The clever one would become the world's first King, Pharaoh etc. The "King" passed his power down to his offspring when he grew too old to rule. The offspring in return, let their father live out his years in great wealth and peace. As time went on, kings grew to have more and more power over their followers, pushing for more and more authority and stripping the followers of more and more of their freedom. As history has proven, sooner or later, in desperation and fear of death, the followers revolt against the kingdom. The system collapses and their is usually a new authority lying in the midst to take control. Like I said before, people emulate those that they look up to. Ra was eternal, fearless, at times cruel and consumed the daytime sky. It's hard to control a massive congregation who strives to emulate such a ferocious god such as Ra. As centuries passed, other gods were introduced, rules and beliefs were altered, but religion proved to be a necessary force to allow one person or a small group of people to lead a very large group. As more centuries passed, there were gods, kings, dynasties, revolts and kings began studying the pattern in hopes of predicting or perceiving a revolt, before it became a threat. As time went on, the kings became aware that in the past, the ones who leaned toward the worship and teachings of gentler, kinder, more merciful gods, emulated those gods and rebelled less often. In time this led to rulers indoctrinating masses into the ways of passive, giving and trusting gods. The congregations in turn, emulated the new, completely adverse gods and thus became the passive followers of today's rulers. I like to give a special "Thank You" to Jamie, for all the inspiration.

intelligence vs. intention

I sit alone tonight, just outside the makeshift bunker. Derek wished to spend some time alone and promised me he wouldn't do anything irrational. I can't help feeling guilty about everything that has happened. I also blame the intelligence agencies. Why can't these people understand that I have no intention of harming anyone. Riley and I were outstanding contributors to society. We did nothing wrong, yet because we were misunderstood we were hunted like animals and everyone who gets close to me, pays dearly for it. It's just not fair. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjSwsww5SfQ

improv....

Today is Derek's birthday. I think he's getting better, but he also seems a bit withdrawn. According to one of the guys here, Derek has an extensive amount of psychology and psy op. training, so it's hard to tell if he's improving or improvising.

July 27th 2012

I am up very early this evening. There is evidence to suggest that great suffering may be headed our way. I truly hope that I am wrong.

Restraint

My exhausted friend sleeps. Derek is having trouble adjusting to his new biology, but I am hopeful. His outbreaks are less frequent now. I think in time he will resume the existence of whatever...whoever he was. I restrained him just as a precaution. I traveled into the city of Winston-Salem by way of wooded areas. I consumed a fresh kill on the way in. Something about inflicting the "dark gift", makes me hunger for the more primal days of my childhood. The days of simplicity and wonder. I now lurk in the shadows amongst a multitude of balconies and survey the bustling below. The small groups of unsuspecting citizens, partaking in recreation and the bicycling officers who parade the streets. The townspeople are quick to forget the frailty of their lives, until confronted by a dark fate. The officers would be slow to realize how their dominance can be threatened in the blink of an eye. They go about their lives assuming that tonight is like any other and tomorrow will be likewise. So far they assume correctly, but sometimes I wonder why I restrain my contempt for your "humanity". I am every bit as dangerous as you would imagine. I have been provoked on more than one occasion. It seems the concept for many of you is that you're not truly living unless you're tempting your own undoing. I stand motionless for hours, observing and noting your scents and behaviors and patterns. I attempt to understand what you hope to find in your evening rituals...acceptance?...peace? ...salvation?

Q&A

Things are finally beginning to wind down here. The perimeter has remained secure for over twenty-four hours now and everyone seems a little more at ease. There is still somethings that weigh heavy on my mind, but I can think somewhat clearer now. Derek has proven to be quite an interesting character. He has competed in everything from track to boxing and was a "Golden Gloves" runner up. He talked with me for about three hours yesterday, explaining his positions and commitments in life. For the most part, he seemed candid and friendly, but I could see the hostility in his eyes. He is jaded about the way he feels the government used him. He is vengeful of the agents who inflicted his wounds. All of this is natural I suppose, but there is something else. Something he's not sharing with me. As our conversation ended last night, I asked if there was anything more and he hesitated. Maybe it was nothing, but the way he looked at me...like there was something clawing from behind his eyes, trying to make itself known to me.

Mental State

Derek's physical recovery is complete. His mental state is yet to be diagnosed. He is for the most part angry and "bent" on getting revenge. This is a logical and expected reaction. The difficulty lies in knowing how much of his mental duress is natural and how much is due to the chemical changes I caused to his system. There is also a good chance that he may have developed P.T.S.D. from his recent encounter with Homeland Security. His body took to the physical change quite well. Much better than Charles or anyone else who's ever received the dark gift. With his new physical abilities coupled with his military and militia training, he is unmatched by any human, thus I must watch over him and make sure he remains mentally stable...or at least physically restrained.

To whom it may concern:

I see you're out. I'm glad you're safe. I hate to know you suffer. I'm sorry that my insight didn't forecast such an apocalypse of action. I understand if you choose to sever yourself from me, or if you have no choice. I am here. I am always here.

Derek

Hello everyone, I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted last. So much has happened, I don't know where to begin. Derek is not who I thought he was. I relocated to Winston-Salem, as my Chapel Hill location was breached. The breach lead Homeland Security to a place called Lewisville.(A small town on the outskirts of Winston-Salem.) They were able to pin me down in an abandoned dwelling for about half and hour, but I evaded them with only minor cuts and bruises. The plan was to rendezvous with Derek at an undisclosed location, but that didn't happen. I was instead met by a small team of heavily armed militia. They were reluctant to divulge information on their affiliation with Derek or his whereabouts. About two weeks went by and still no sign of my x-roommate/ author. Another small team of militia brought him into our location. He was shot multiple times and had lost a lot of blood. He was in shock and kept muttering something about aborting a mission. At that point I demanded to know what was going on. He was laid upon a metal utility table and a couple of the militia stood at either side and began tearing away his clothing and asking that specific medical tools be brought to the table. The man that headed the team who brought Derek in, sat me down and began filling me in on shocking details. Derek is not who he claimed he was. He was a sniper for the U.S. Marines and was involved in some kind of surveillance team. It was this U.S. government surveillance team that made him aware of my existence. He has knowledge of Classified details of my encounter with Tyben and the military unit at the airfield, where I last held my Riley. He knows much more of me than I was aware of and I know much less about him. His final mission for the military had been to pinpoint my location and disclose my location and resources, as well as details of my actions during his debriefing. The debriefing never happened. Derek tracked me to my location and simply never re-established contact to his commanding officer. He defected. Instead of releasing me to the military, he befriended me, gave me a place to stay and shielded me from any known U.S. trackers, Homeland Security, bounty hunters...why? I was then informed of the reason behind Derek's current medical condition. Since his defecting from the military, Derek had joined up with militia and other anti-military and anti-government groups. He had prompted a strike against the agents that pinned me down in Lewisville. He wanted to buy me some time at my current location, by letting the pursuing agents know that they would need backup, if they were to attempt another aggressive encounter. The man who informed me of this, patted my shoulder, stood up, walked to Derek and whispered something to him and walked into an adjacent room. I stood and walked to my room-mate and friend. He was still very pale, but had stopped muttering. He was no longer in shock. The two gentlemen standing by him, had dressed his wounds and given him something for pain. I felt betrayed and honored by him at the same time. I asked one of gentlemen of his prognosis. The man looked at me with a grimace and shook his head. I felt a lump in my throat. The gentlemen patted me on the back, one at a time. One of them grabbed Derek's hand in a gesture to comfort him, then they both left the room. Derek looked up at me with a smile and eyes glazed from a small dose of Morphine. "You look like shit.", he said in a scratchy condescending voice. I said the only word I could muster..."Why?" He began to explain to me that he had been in a bad place in his life, when the military had recruited him and made him a soldier. They gave him assurance and what he believed to be courage and a sense of self. He also said that during his time as a soldier, he had done many things to show his loyalty to the military. Things he regretted. He had begun to understand that the military didn't help him through a bad time, but rather took advantage of him during this low point. They had made him a weapon, but he had become a weapon without feeling, without remorse. He told me: "Nolen, I was one of the secondary team at the airstrip. I saw what happened there. I saw your face. It reminded me of myself, when I was going through the bad time, before I was recruited. The military had no agenda for me, but to make me a weapon. They had the same agenda for you. I couldn't let them do that to you. I made up my mind that I would head up the team to track you and I would lead them astray. When I found you, I would assist you in hiding. I would protect you. I would lead you to safety in an attempt at my own salvation." The word "salvation" was accompanied by a cough and a spatter of blood that fell across his cheek. His eyes closed and my keen sense of touch, could feel his body temperature falling. The thought of Riley running across the airstrip with me, crossed my mind. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. I thought of Charles. I leaned over his cooling carcass and pushed his head further to the side, in order to expose his Jugular. I licked my canines and sank them in quickly and deep. About thirty seconds after penetration, I felt his blood stir over the tips of my teeth. I felt a charge of energy rush through his veins. It was working. I stayed affixed on him longer still. After a few minutes, I felt his body temperature begin to climb rapidly. I saw his muscles tighten and the veins rise to the skin's surface. I could now taste his blood and the essence of his organs, along with traces of my own saliva. The exchange was more complete than any Vampire had ever known. I refused to relinquish and sank my teeth in deeper still. I few moments later, his eyes abruptly opened as the muscles in his appendages tightened in violent convulsions. I pulled away as Derek let out a shrill scream of pain that after a few seconds, became a lower pitched war cry. Everyone entered the room with astonished faces, as they saw color restoring to Derek's flesh and his blood dripping from my chin.

The Harbinger

My fair maiden lies shackled and woe. Her dress torn and soiled, tells of blasphemy and misfortune. Her soul tormented by God and government. Does this course not beckon me to proceed encased in armor of Mendez? Should my thoughts not intertwine with war? If my cries fall on deaf ears, will I cry no more? It is the Harbinger these captors seek. His lowered brow swells to the rigid horns of reason. His direction echoes of thunder as stride distends. He is shielded by maxim and plague of knowledge. The sharp steel of angst-ridden compassion, urges to plunge deep into the adversary. The imprudence shall spill forth in dark puddles. He preys in the shadows of man. Can you not smell his stench? Why would they call forth such a beast?

announcement

Hello everyone. My name is Derek. For those of you who don't know, I'm the author of Nolen's biography. He has instructed me to relay the message that tonight at sunset, the ones who wish to call him from the darkness shall get their wish. He says his power lies within the darkness and therefore from this night on, those who sought his wrath shall receive it.

brains = money

I would like to share yet another new concept with you if I may. A few nights ago I was remembering a time when Riley and I spent a lot of time watching old horror movies. She was particularly fond of Zombies. She loved the old horror movies where the main characters were some teenage kids or young hellions and the movies always seemed to move in the same direction. The younger, main stars would have to form a bond and cooperate, to assure their survival. The zombies steadily grew in number. It started with a small handful, but soon the zombies became the majority of the town, taking over the priest, sheriff, teachers, parents and any other symbols of authority as well as the common folk. In the truly scary movies, the ones that really got Riley on the edge of her seat, the poor teenagers or hoodlums would dwindle down one by one, each meeting their own horrific fate of being surrounded by the merciless, cannibals. The last words the poor subject would hear was "brains", which was chanted out by the masses of "one-track minded, dead inside" ghouls. The zombies wanted brains, brains and more brains. They could never get their fill and would never stop or have any other thought. The thought of being surrounded by these non-thinking, non-negotiating, non-sympathetic beings that don't necessarily wish to kill you, but worse, to make you one of them, is definitely horrific. The thought of dying at the hands of these awful creatures is one thing, but it worse than that. They surround you, infect you and eat your mind (or free thought) and force you to become lifeless and in constant search of "brains". You people have come up with your horrible concepts throughout time. I bet the artist or free thinker who came up with zombies probably frightened him/ herself with the concept. Personally I think that Mostfiction is based on some kind of primal psychology. I want you to try something when you have some spare time. Get on line, or netflix or somewhere you can find some old zombie films and give them a view. Even if you don't want to watch the whole thing, at least scan through and get the just of it. Try to pick one that Riley would have enjoyed. You know, the ones with no survivors in the end. Grab yourself some popcorn, turn the lights off and prepare for fright. I'm sure you're not intrigued. Bad acting, even worse special effects. Watch the film, but as the zombies start their chant, replace the word "brains" with the word "money". You don't even have to watch the flick at this point do you? You know exactly what I mean. People's quest for money robs them of times and thoughts and enjoyments. Many in their quest for the "mighty dollar", become mindless zombies, incapable of thinking of anything else.

Avengers

Traveled to Greensboro earlier. I guess too many vehicles with out-of-state plates, attract local P.D. It would have been a real close call, but two local avengers came to our aid. To the dark late 90's model civic with racing rims and the Evo VIII on standby: Thanks for the assist and if the driver of the civic happens to read this, what modifications does your vehicle possess as I've never seen a foreign economy car handle so quickly and efficiently. And to Anya and Wesley, don't worry I will contact you later tonight.

"hippies amount to nothing"

The happiest people I know is a group of 6 to 10 people who live in a four bedroom apt. on Myrtle Beach. I say 6 to 10, because a few seem to come and go. They all work part time, minimum wage, laid back jobs that are close by. They all contribute to rent and food and necessities. They don't spend much on clothing, because nothing more than work attire and some cheap swim trunks and bathing suits are all that they require. The original six dwellers collaborated funding and bought a used minivan in case anyone should need to travel further than walking or biking distance. The house rules are pretty simple: Conduct yourself in a humane way towards yourself and others...that's it. You would think that a large number of people like that living in such close quarters would be chaotic, but I don't know that I've ever heard any of them quarrel at all. Most of the time they are outside reading in hammocks, hanging out at the beach with friends, surfing, swimming, volleyball and sometimes they have cookouts in the back yard with music and dancing. Society would probably tell you that these people are "hippies" and will amount to nothing in life. Let's look at that term closely "amount to nothing" a term used by people buried to their eyeballs in debt, two mortgages on a house and finally done with their life of high blood pressure and bankruptcies, when that final stroke blesses them with death. Their children are left with the memory of parents they barely got to know, because they were always working or engaged with the current runoff between republicans and democrats. I realize that not everyone can work at convenience stores and live on the beach, nor would everyone want to. Maybe your ambition drives you to the mini mansions and luxury automobiles and as long as you're not killing yourself for the materials you acquire, then good for you. I am however saying that if you prefer the life on the beach or anywhere that you find peace in a more simple, less materialistic life, there is nothing wrong with that either. Society calls them hippies, but if you ask THEM what they are, they will tell you "Happy". To me that's worth more zeros than you could possibly put on a paycheck.

It should be obvious by now The Beckoning is not role play. You accept my existence through epiphany, not imagination. You have always been aware of me, as we share much of the same genetic makeup. I am that affair in the back of your mind. The one that constantly makes you aware of the falsehoods around you. I'm the feeling you get when you notice that society preaches teachings of Jesus and lives by acts of Judas. The ones in control would have you to be docile, slaves as they conform you more than ever before, confine you more than ever before, in an attempt to lay your primal instincts dormant. Generation after generation, these genes are used less and less frequently, until the generation is born that is nothing more than a mass of submissive energy waiting for instruction. Even slaves of Egypt, slaves of Rome, Greece, America, were all allowed to handle altercations among one another through reasonable acts of violence. To retaliate in order to protect your well-being and livelihood is the natural order of things. This order allowed large numbers of slaves to handle their own affairs without the assistance of the imposed authority. When you're talking about thousands upon thousands of slaves, allowing a certain amount of aggression among them to handle quarrels, saves a lot of manpower and effort on the governing end. The problem with this structure has been the same, time and time again.Governing forces push labor and harsh conditions to the point that the slaves can take no more. Revolution begins and now the primal instincts that the slaves were allowed to act on, cultivate and breed, are used against the governing forces. Here in the United States, your governing forces are leading world technology in creating a class of docile followers. One's who will be profitable, but passive. They breed the fight out of you and everything that kept your ancestors living long enough to breed is being put somewhere deep inside your mind to sleep and never awaken...to die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-zq01MDi5s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvFRLIjOLOU aspartame.mercola.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSZQ3ixu7a4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLWk3cBnHOg&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m3c2L_r4rM&feature=related You are guinea pigs in a new era of mind control. Your species did not climb to the top of the food chain by being docile. Your ancestry did not earn it's freedom from countless cases of enslavement by being docile. Should you choose to become what I am, then it ends here and now. The first step is to acknowledge your adversaries as such and though it may not be of strategic advise to attack at this juncture, your conscious cooperation as a "lab rat" must end now. What is the purpose of acquiring knowledge, if it's only to be used in compliance with the governing powers. There are genes inside you that make you feel obligated to rebel. The genes are reacting to the thoughts and chemicals that are trying to render it dormant. To continue this path will only assure you as much "success" as the ones in control deem fit and the ones in control are tightening the ropes around your necks to ensure that the rich prosper and the ones under those select few who are truly rich, will steadily lose power and influence as time goes on.

intel.

I am in desperate need of assistance in expanding my search. I received information today that leads me to believe that all is not lost. The down side is that my investigators intel. on Homeland Security was terminated today and without that information I am blind to an attack. I'm not asking for you to make a purchase, I'm just asking you to read through the given information on my site and let me know if you have any information of true Vampire that may be in your area. Even if you're unsure about their authenticity, at least tell them that "Nolen" is looking for them and give my website. If they're a role player, they'll simply right you off as crazy or "in character". I desperately need you all and I don't know how much longer I will be able to remain at this location, if Homeland Security traces the hack to my investigative team. If there is even a slight possibility that the Vampire you know or have seen may be real, all you have to do is mention my name. If they inquire more, then give them this website. That's all I'm asking. Most of my family most commonly hides in plain sight (as role players, Vampire fans, goth fans etc.). I know this expands knowledge of me at an incredible rate and makes it harder to keep up with what intel. is leaked at what location, but I must find them immediately. For those of you who have followed and participated in my search, my deepest gratitude. Nolen

predator or prey?

Remember what I said about standing on the balcony? If not, I'll sum it up. Vampire are efficient at waiting still for long periods of time for our prey. This is explained in the manuscript, but I won't get into all that. I think my ability to wait patiently from a clear vantage point as a predator, not only makes me an excellent predator, but it also sometimes allows me to see things that I wouldn't have a good vantage point of if I were down in the middle of all of it. I think the ones in control of your civilizations, watch from a clear vantage point and keep you scurrying through new rules and regulations, trends and "must haves", fake threats and fake economies, "successes" and "failures". I think that it may be a wise choice for who ever is reading this to just back up for a moment. Back up from the onslaught of skewed knowledge coming at you. What to buy, where to live, how to vote, what to eat, when to eat, how much to weigh, what is healthy, what is normal, what is rational. You live in an age of information, so stop believing what the sponsored companies are telling you and do your own research. It may take a while longer than just taking the word of strangers at face value, but I would rather spend a lifetime taking longer to get accurate information than spending less time and receiving lies, inconsistencies and impossibilities. Try to imagine you're one of the ones at the top. You can do whatever you want because you tell the lawmakers what laws to make, so obviously you're above those laws. At the same time, you have to make certain that laws are created to assure you that no one will ever be a threat to your power. There's always someone smarter than you, stronger than you, and by the masses people are certain to be stronger and smarter than any one person. How do you assure your success and their defeat? You keep everything in constant change. If people can't adapt, they can't gain power. One generation sugar is unhealthy, smoking is nothing more than a social engagement and marriage is a must. Next generation: artificial sweetener is poison, smoking is poison, yet still somehow socially acceptable and legal, and marriage is on a steep decline. You as a ruler also must remain invisible. If the masses ever knew the truth, they would revolt. You don't want them to know your face, or address or your family at that point. Let them go after the "puppets" you put into place. You know, like presidents and congressmen. Do you think these people have any power over the ones who control the currency in your country?

I don't want to be the Harbinger, but it is inevitable

I wrote some stuff late last night that I didn't post, so I'm going to post it now. Its been a bad evening so far to say the least. How many times can it hurt this severely? So this is what I'm posting: Your government wouldn't take billions and billions of dollars that weren't theirs', right? I would also like to bring to your attention "Amendment 16". Amendment 16 gives the government the right to enforce payment of income tax by all U.S. citizens. I have personally researched this myself and found just as others have: The 16th amendment never became a law, therefore laws that enforce income tax and give the IRS their power, are unconstitutional and therefore incapable of being a law. In other words, your government collects currency from your wages illegally . The amendment was brought before the Supreme Court twice in the early nineteen hundreds and it failed to pass as a law twice, as only two U.S. states voted in favor of it. After two denials by the Supreme Court, it was ratified illegally without the consent of the Supreme Court or the majority of the U.S. citizens and has been enforced ever since. I'm not saying you can go without paying your taxes as your government will imprison you for that. I'm saying that your government falsely imprisons people for refusing to pay sums of money they are not legally liable to pay. I know it's hard to believe. If your own government breaks the law for money, then why should you obey the laws? The answer is simple: They have all the guns. You are slaves. If you are at an age where society is just beginning to pressure you with it's b.s. laws and religions, your obligations to become a "role model citizen", you may look around you and notice something is a bit off. You can't put your finger on it, but the world doesn't seem to be exactly what your government and religions claim it is. You may even feel a need to revolt. Society calls that need to revolt "hormones" or "teenage angst" and tells you it will pass in time as you grow older. In actuality that feeling of a need to revolt is your primal instincts and primal psychology attempting to get you to fight back as society shackles you and forces its ways into your mind. You see, we all evolved from animals and your primal instincts and psychology are not capable of absorbing the b.s. your rulers force into your brain, the only purpose of the primal instincts and psychology are the same thing they've always been: To keep you safe, healthy and free. If you let it, society will enslave you and over time, you will become numb to it. Society will tell you that you are free and you will "buy into it", even though you don't feel free. As you grow into adulthood, you begin to become numb, but the mind is so resilient. Every now and then the realization that you are shackled and enslaved will re-emerge. It happens to everyone. This epiphany that adults have, is dealt with in different ways by different people. Some prefer drugs or alcohol. Some prefer religion. Some prefer to buffer it by acting out another primal instinct like mating or hunting, or fishing, or gardening, the list goes on and on. Step back from society and look through the eyes of a predator. You will then see just how enslaved you are and even worse, you will see how enslave you are to become. You can stay in the "predator" position, if you prefer not to go back down to the "rat race", but know that if other predators see you looking at the world from their vantage point, they will aggressively pursue you. I have personal experience with this also. This is why a good predator can remain still for hours, not only to keep himself hidden from prey, but from other predators as well.

Dream or Damnation

I met a girl in Lexington, NC. She spoke and moved identical to my Riley. She was magical. I attempted to flow through her veins, but she seemed already turned. Ultimately I failed and she is gone forever. I don't know if it was dream or damnation. I would consider it all a dream, but on occasion I can feel her speaking and moving through my veins.

The last one tonight... I promise.

One last link and I'm not even sure I believe this one, because if it's true we might benefit from just starting our civilization all over again. History may not be how you have been told.

Sun worship

I met a new acquaintance today named Emma. She was kind enough to share the following link with me. It is "Zeitgiest" related, so for those of you who haven't gotten the chance to view the two hour version: This is a related sample. Enjoy. Sun worship: The origin of all religions.

If under 18 or squeamish: DO NOT WATCH

I am Vampire, but it is man, who is the monster. If you think me to be some crazy ultra "left wing" conspiracy theorist, then please explain this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsncQ6O4wYw This is what the damage looks like up close
I realize the footage is from the Vietnam war, but if you think no Iraqi children were injured in the beginning of "Dessert Storm" in 1991, research it yourself and try not to cry. This is proof,from your own government's files that declare Vietnam military striking the U.S. first and starting the Vietnam war, was a hoax.
Okay, so millions of people died because of a lie made by your government. Do you think the war in Afghanistan is any different? Do you think the "War on Terror" hasn't been trumped up, so that the American public will be comfortable with politicians ordering the military to continue this behavior? I am Vampire, I have emerged from a relatively primitive culture, but I know what deception is.

Success

I had an epiphany today. I've been trying to sum up the problems I see around me and I believe I've stumbled across a great find. Most people after completing school are in the nine to five grind. It's not long before they are "set in their ways". If any of these people who are honest when asked, would tell you that they experimented with many things in their early years from drugs to sex to sports to being a musician to being an artist to a host of jobs etc. If you pay attention, these days they "say no to drugs", they've held one particular job doing the same task for years and years, the sex has most likely gotten infrequent and dull, they don't play sports anymore, the guitar or drum set is collecting dust in the garage just next to the art easel. They might tell you that they don't have time to do any of those things these days, though they have no problem spending hours in front of the tube, living vicariously through characters. Why did they stop? People call it "getting old" or "set in your ways". Let's take a closer look: Society taught them success was a full time, high paying job no matter how boring and mundane. Society taught them success was a house with stainless steel appliances, flat screen t.v.s and a car in the garage with a shiny emblem on the hood. Society taught them success was an average of 2.5 children to raise and put through college, being an upstanding citizen in your community (meaning not questioning or resisting any of this) attending a church in your free time and to stay current on fashion, technology and reality shows. Society taught them that even though they couldn't possibly afford all this at one time, it was considered "successful" to spread the payments out, you know 5 or 10 years for the car, 15 years to accrue enough money for your 2.5 kids to get good educations, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with taking 30 years of their life to pay for the "mother" of all the bills, the house mortgage. I don't see anything wrong with owning any of these things...but what are they really costing these people? Inspiration! Before they got sucked into the rat race of "being a success", they had dreams of being an artist, they enjoyed writing their own music, the drugs seemed a happy time in their high school and college years, but ultimately didn't help them afford their "successful" things, so they just cut it back to some social drinks, maybe a pill or two (for their depression of course). The love making got old pretty quickly. Who feels like being intimate after a day of 9 to 5, running errands, cooking and/or eating, watching a few hours of television and throwing back a few bottles of brew? They're exhausted. I'm sure their vehicle and home brought them inspiration when they first made the purchases, but honestly, is a hunk of metal that rolls and stops on command supposed to inspire them for five to ten years? Is a box of wood or brick to watch their reality shows in supposed to inspire them for 30 years? Why would they ever decide to do this? And why would society tell them these actions meant "success"? Who controls what society is allowed and forbidden to do? Right, "Uncle Sam". Why do you suppose he would tell everyone to go out and buy things that only temporarily inspire, but cost a fortune to pay off? "Uncle Sam" makes anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3 of most people pay check. The harder and longer people have to work for things, the bigger these numbers get for "Uncle Sam" and the longer he gets to collect them. And the sad truth is that these people will go on working in order to buy more and more possessions in hopes of finding one that will inspire them longer than it takes to pay it off. I want you to think carefully. What's the most important thing in your life? Today, it may be a pair of shoes or an amazing new smart phone, but are the same shoes and phone going to keep you feeling inspired? Of course not. What about your pet, your friends, your parents, parties you've attended, parties you plan to attend, a vacation, any celebration where you were surrounded by happiness and fun? These things cost a fraction of what your material items cost. What if when you graduated high school or college, you spent your life working enough to live in a dwelling that was warm in the winter, cool in the summer and dry in the rain, no bells and whistles? What if you spent the rest of your life driving a car that got you from point A to point B, but was missing that shiny emblem? What if you spent the rest of your life composing your music and art, laughing and vacationing with friends and playing frisbee with your golden retriever? What if your relationships stayed fresh and young, due to lack of stress? Do you think you would be more miserable than the ones who had all the "success"? Who would suffer from you living such an adventurous lifestyle, no one...oh yeah "Uncle Sam". You are born with a sense of wonder and adventure and it seems society's main goal is to convince you that you don't need it. Your inspiration is your most valuable precious resource and you should never sell it. Especially for "Success".

To the young ladies of Winston-Salem

To the young ladies of Winston-Salem: Thank you for a lovely evening. I am hoping that you will view this page as it is much more convenient to contact you here. Like I said, there is a chance that one of my people is in your area, so tell your friends that if they come across a new face in their area that fits the description to do not hesitate to contact me via here or my Facebook page. You may also tell him that Nolen seeks his presence. If he is true Vampire, he will insist on the website to contact me. Either site is fine of course. Remind him not to use our "American" names, as Homeland Security has them on file and are monitoring all media and resources. p.s. Don't forget to tell everyone you trust in the Winston-Salem area to be on the lookout and if they come into contact with him, remind him to NOT use our "American" names. I'm sure he knows this, but he is under duress at the moment and may not be thinking clearly. Thank you once again, Nolen

If you think that Vampire is fiction:

Some of you that I've spoken with, particularly the older ones, seem to be having difficulty accepting the truth. This is normal, because you have been lied to ever since you were old enough to listen. I would like to suggest a few links: The first is a very short film ( 14 minutes and 58 seconds),Science Saved My Soul
but the ramifications it has on the mind are spellbinding. The second film is much longer ( 2 hours and 27 seconds) Zeitgeist
Just to warn you, the first five minutes of film has a cult-like feel to it. Not to worry, the rest of the film is clear, rational and precise. These films were chosen because I wanted you to see just how little humans know about the universe around them and how most seem to prefer believing in fabricated fairy tales. If you think that Vampire is fiction, it is probably because you've been taught this notion by the masses. In the United States, the masses also preach that Jesus Christ is not fiction. Zeitgeist lays that pipe-dream to rest. For those of you who are young and find the movies above hard to grasp, I have disclosed the following links:
Einstein's theory on time travel
Dr. Quantum: Double Slit Experiment
Dr. Quantum: Dimensions
A different theory on the fourth dimension
The first three are animations and while made for younger viewers, discusses very complex theories. The fourth is also for younger viewers and is a short video of a high school student explaining a separate theory on the fourth dimension. Being candid, I have watched all three animations more than once and thoroughly enjoy them.

The beckoning has begun

I'm seeing quite a few new faces lately and I just wanted to officially welcome you all to my Facebook and website. To those of you who have been following me for a while now, I also appreciate the acknowledgements. I realize some of you out there are probably hesitant to "drop in" with a question or comment or even a hello, but I can assure you that you are welcome here. If you have any questions, or just want conversation, I would be happy to oblige and I'm sure my patrons feel the same.

the wrong hands

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about the story of my life being out there on paper. I'm not really concerned with judgement, I never have been one to worry about what others think, but I am worried about what effect my personal information could have on me, if it fell into the wrong hands. Sometimes it's hard to know what the right decision is. It is logical that keeping the information given in the novel to myself is the safest way to go about things, but I must offer to those who will listen if I am to find the others. To be honest, I have always been obligated to stand by, in the shadows and never shine light on my talents and attributes. It has been relatively safe, but I think at some point you have to put yourself out there and take that "plunge" or you'll never know what's truly waiting for you.

Special offer

The novels are going much quicker than I anticipated, which is a good thing, but my personal supplies are diminishing rapidly. Due to the fact that getting the book distributed is my main agenda, anyone who refers a friend will get a discount and the referred friend will get the discount as well. So if you buy the book directly from www.nolenthebeckoning.com ( Will be on the "merchandise" page tomorrow. May 4th.) The purchase price for you and the one you referred will be eight dollars each and that includes shipping. Just make sure you notify me of your friend's name, so that you receive the discount. I will also sign both books free of charge, of course. Thank you for the contributions thus far and I hope that my story inspires you.

Pointless venture

The informant I met with last night was inaccurate. There are many humans out there very dedicated to a Vampire type of lifestyle. This makes it more complicated to conduct my search, but is flattering nevertheless. The investigative group still won't give me any information on the other lead. It's been a while now and I'm beginning to assume that it was another pointless venture.

Winston-Salem

In all my ranting and raving earlier, I forgot to relay a message: Derek says to those who we met up with in Winston-Salem Saturday night, thank you for your hospitality and openness. He says to tell you that he had a really nice time and plans to frequent there much more often...I agree with him and will definitely frequent more often as well.

Sometimes even the air can taste like her

I'm up early again tonight. I'm making an attempt to be more social. And I also want to make it VERY clear that I haven't been acting like a recluse because of anything anyone said. On the contrary I greatly appreciate everyone who writes in and comments and calls now and then to show support. It's just been hard to deal with everything lately. It seems that I go through spells when it seems everything is beginning to look brighter and then something I see or taste or smell reminds me of the recent chaos.


Anyway, I have exciting news. The investigative agency says they have a lead, but don't want to get me involved until they make a positive I.D. or at least make sure it's not another fraud. You people do love your vampires.

Also, Derek has begun an ad campaign working in conjunction with facebook, google+ and a few other global sources in an attempt to expand the search. I realize it is a dangerous step to advertise myself and my roundabout location to random individuals, but I remain confident that humanity is not too far gone and that the campaign will yield positive results.

I also have an escape route and plan ready to be acted upon in the event of anyone I reach out to becoming hostile. And let's not forget about who and what I am. I don't expect some local flatfoot to pursue me in an attempt to obtain me with brute force. If he has done enough reconnaissance to know that I am authentic, then he also knows that an act of violence towards me would be futile and possibly have horrible repercussions. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying that I am willing to do anything to find my family and I'm certainly not going to be stopped by some overzealous blue-suit fresh out of boot camp.

So wish me luck and I will make a true effort to try and keep everyone filled in more frequently.

forgiveness: a virtue or a curse?

I want to start this entry off by apologizing to those of you who follow my events and converse with me regularly. I know it has been a long time since my last entry. I have been using the long nights to do all I can to broaden my search. I know that's not an excuse for failing to check in just to let everyone know I'm okay, and I know that I could have returned a phone call or two.

To be honest I can help but feel withdrawn lately. I look around me and it seems that all I find is greed and disregard for others. How could beings with so much potential, settle for so little? Humans are at the top of the food chain, but you could be so much greater, with so little effort. I can't help but feel that I am "joining in the ranks". I feel that when Riley and I were together, the main difference between who I was then and who I am now is "forgiveness". In the time that we were together and so in love, if something unpleasant happened or something didn't quite turn out as planned...I just let it roll off my shoulders. I saw forgiveness and the ability to just "roll with it" as a virtue. Now I can't help but view it as a weakness. Look at what trust and naivety has cost me. Look at what forgiveness and the belief that "we are innately just" has caused me to endure.

To those of you who were worried about me, I am truly sorry. I will do my best to write in more often or at least return your calls. I'm just having a hard time coping at this particular moment in time.

Obviously there has been no luck yet with my search, but that has to be expected. My people are excellent at evasion if nothing else. I will keep you all posted and thank you for your time.

Nolen

Darwin's resurrection

I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to decide in which direction to take my blog. I'm still not sure what I have to say to those of you who are currently following and especially those who are just beginning to log on. I suppose since I am still unsure, no format is yet needed, therefore I will spill my thoughts as they manifest.


I declared backing the "occupy" movement in my last entry. I also mentioned that I was unsure of their direction, but I would rather take my chances with new leadership than try and coexist with the current tyranny. I would just like to add that I think the idea of a "leaderless" organization may be a brilliant idea indeed.


Thousands of years ago when my people were hidden into the Earth, there were already civilizations, kings, gods etc. and thus I believe "man" had already started his decline. Look at it this way: Darwin believed that all living things evolved from a single life form. If this is true then it stands to reason that life has existed on this planet through many difficulties by exploring new resources and sharing their strengths with one another. The fast agile female lion will do most of the chasing down of wild gazelles while the more massive and stronger male will protect the den from predators. Animals of a same species will use their strengths in harmony to assure it's existence throughout time.


Before man had mastered becoming the top of the food chain and wandered the lands as groups of nomads, he had already taken his first step toward his own demise. Man has always had wonder and unanswered questions, so it was inevitable that sooner or later someone would claim to have answers. The world had its first witch-doctors and priests and shamans. Men who claimed to have a higher knowledge or understanding of the world, usually through a fabricated god or spirit of some kind. The motive for someone to claim to have these abilities was simple: if what you have is in high demand, you have the ability to trade it to the followers and believers for various necessities or wants.


As time went on and man learned to raise game and livestock as well as cultivate plants, civilization became a reality and now not only was there an ever-growing need for answers, but also those who claimed to answer to a higher power could market their talent to an even bigger audience as people became more established. Many civilizations have flourished and profited from this common way of things, but every dynasty of man has also fallen sooner or later and possibly from the same structure flaw.


I believe the problem is this: Since the beginning of civilization, man has always used a "pyramid" type structure of power or rule. For example a god or gods at the top of the pyramid with a king or shaman just below the leaders appoint special positions to friends or family, slaves at the very bottom and everyone else in between. My point being that while man is the only "civilized" species on the planet he is also the only species to use the "pyramid" order of rule and I believe that when you take a broad group of a species and force them to collect all their resources and use all their strengths for the good of only a small number of leaders at the top, you sacrifice much of the knowledge, creativity and genetic excellence of the majority and thus you hinder the production and progress of your species.


My people are just as much to blame as yours. To say its possible to reverse civilization is ludicrous, but I have faith that through intelligence and wisdom, the majority is beginning to understand this flaw, and hopefully through the same intelligence and wisdom, answers will emerge.

occupying a place other than the apt.

To those of you who have been following along: I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I took a flight to Atlanta over the holidays to follow a particular lead. It was either a false alarm or a hoax. From any perspective I seem to be no closer to finding any of my family.

That's not the only reason for delaying my blog. While returning from Atlanta one of the investigators working for Derek and I informed us that my location may be compromised. The origin of the information leak was unknown, so Derek and I were escorted to a safe house by the head investigator as it was believed that occupying the apartment might be dangerous. This too turned out to be a false alarm, but until we were sure, I didn't want to blog on this site until I knew it was safe.

This brings me to yet another topic. I mentioned before that I had dropped off some necessities to the local "occupy" group. I also said that I wasn't sure where I stood as far as backing them or not. I have thought long and hard about this and I have made a decision. I'm not sure that I could pinpoint the exact goals of the occupy movement and for that reason it is hard to get behind them, but I have come to this realization...There seem to be hundreds of people in that group with hundreds of different ideas, but they can all agree that the current "powers that be" are not governing efficiently and I think that is a point that 99 percent CAN agree on. I have been hunted and assaulted since the governments first knowledge of my existence. I've not harmed them in any way, but they made it quite clear at the airport that they were not interested in sitting down and talking or anything remotely civilized. The United States government has made it abundantly clear to me that they have no intentions of negotiating, collaborating, or responding in anyway except brute force to those that they do not understand or those who offer a different perspective or those who question their motives.

I'm not sure that I believe in everything that "occupiers" may stand for, but I know that I can agree with them that the government has seriously misused it's governing authority as well as mislead it's citizens. I think many politicians have "crawled into bed" with huge corporate companies and corrupted true capitalism and free enterprise in exchange for money. I think that many of these politicians knew that it would lead to the economic demise of many, many hard working citizens but they didn't care. Please write in and correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that if a public service employee (politician) purposefully jeopardized the well being of those who elected him ( U.S. citizens ) that public servant not only broke an oath when he was sworn into office, but he was also guilty committing a particular crime (treason).

To commit treason is considered such an intolerable crime with such grim consequences that it CAN be punishable with a death sentence. If they were jaywalking or committing petty theft they would still be wrong for doing so, but these guys are engaging in acts that destroy many peoples lives and well being.

It's for this reason that I've decided to back the "occupy" movement in any way that I can. So if any of my followers are participants of the movement, I wish you prosperity in your goals and I will continue to show my support in every way that I am able.