TRUTH

Hi Taylor,
I DO remember you from last weekend. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. The truth is that I've spent the last several days debating on how to respond. I wasn't sure if I should respond by phone or a personal e-mail, or make my response public on this blog. The primary goal of this website and book is to reconnect me with my family. Even though what I divulge may be dangerous for myself, my loved ones and possibly anyone who becomes privileged to the truth, I feel I have no choice if I wish to accomplish my what I set out to do.

So here goes nothing. Everything in the book is true. "The Beckoning" is for the most part verbatim as told to Derek, my memories and recent experiences. By "for the most part" I mean that Derek added in some colorful adjectives and such, but the happenings are quite real. I know this probably seems impossible to take in, but it's all really a simple matter of evolution.

My kind: we are not so different from you. Aside from our few physical attributes and that enable and hinder us, we are what humans would have become, were you all not so caught us in your societies' agendas. You have to acknowledge the plagues that particular religions and politics have bestowed upon your kind throughout history. They have twisted your perceptions and reactions to certain behaviors. Look around you at the other animals that co-inside with each other in your realms. Look at all of nature in your environment. Watch how it all reacts in unison. Now look at human-kind and how out of its element it has become. Do YOU believe that what you see around you is what "Man" was meant to become? I don't think any of you truly believe that.

You have gained a great deal of knowledge of myself and other Vampire by reading of my memories and accounts, but there is still a great deal to be learned. You have genes and behaviors inside you that have been laid dormant by your societies over centuries of brainwashing and breeding out instincts that the pharaohs, kings, emperors, presidents etc. did not wish for you to possess. Most humans have been bred to be controlled and to follow. The ones in control call it names like "civilized" and particularly in your part of the world "law abiding citizen". The ones who control you preach that it is intelligent to be passive and subservient, while generation after generation you watch the world grow colder and more hopeless as the ones who control prosper off the backs of those who have been "trained" to allow it.

Search your true feelings and you will acknowledge not only that I am right, but that "The Beckoning" is the most accurate and elaborate explanation of your purpose and destiny that you've ever known. It's not just about Vampire, it is about man-kind as well. You are not the only one that feels a great void in your life that can't seem to be fulfilled. You ALL feel this way. People of all ethnic, social, geographic backgrounds, you all try and fill "the void" with different things from jobs to religion, to alcohol and drugs, to various relationships and sex. All these pass-times to attempt to fill that dogmatic emptiness.

There is a reason for the emptiness and that is because you are all taught to deny your true self. I can help you if you would like. I was always taught never to instruct "man" on the journey to becoming Vampire, but given the circumstances and the recent events that have unfolded, maybe it is time that a chosen few open minded individuals become privy to knowledge that has been kept secret for thousands of years.

exploring

I'm up early today. I feel I slept well, which is still somewhat rare. It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, but I've been out of the country and I had trouble obtaining wi-fi. I think it may be the laptop that is at fault. I got a lead from the investigative company that Derek hired for me. The lead took me from my current location, to Maryland, then New York, then Montreal. Lots of travel, time and money just to wind up at a dead end.

I returned to the apartment Thursday night, miserable of course. Derek insisted I accompany him to a social gathering at a local club last night in an attempt to get my mind off things. I kindly obliged. The book sales are going great and he's been ecstatic about it for the past couple of weeks. We had a long talk Friday night after the social engagement. He told me that he had to constantly emotionally distance himself from me, because he felt I was "the greatest find of all time" and not being able to tell anyone of my true background was proving to be a terribly difficult feat. He said that becoming a close friend would only make things more complicated. I told him that I understood and thanked him for his silence on the matter.

The gathering was at a local club Derek frequented with some of his college buddies. The music there was a mix of current rock and hip hop. As a particular song began, bass pulsed through the establishment in pounding waves. For a moment in my mind, I was on the dance floor with Riley again. The thought brought me discomfort, but it was more tolerable than previous times that I had caught myself reminiscing. I had a few conversations with Derek's peers, then feeling adventurous I told my buzzed room mate that I would see him at the apartment later that night and excused myself to explore the surrounding bars and clubs. All in all I would say it was a good night. A breath of fresh air from the usual.