The private investigative team that Derek helped me hire has found another lead. They should know if it's authentic or not by the end of the week. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but while everyone else is preparing to spend one of several holidays coming up, I can't help but to think that it would be wonderful for me to spend this brisk season with my loved ones.
I'm not the fondest of the trying weather, but I must admit that I do enjoy the long winter nights. I would love to be able to report more to you about my happenings, but to be honest this week has been rather dull. I mean work has definitely kept me busy, but outside of that it's been quite calm.
Well, wish me luck and happy holiday for whatever you may celebrate this time of year.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
The transformation to Vampire
To those of you who I've met since the beginning of my blog: Thank you for your assistance and support thus far. I've had a chance to speak to a couple of you more than the others, but I gather that all of you wish to know more about the human transformation to Vampire. It's quite expected; if I were you I would probably ask the same.
Those of you who have read "The Beckoning" are aware of the traits and abilities that separate me from yourselves. I know that to most, I probably come across as enchanted, but I don't think my traits play a big role in your intrigue. I am aware that my abilities have aided me in many situations, but I think that the biggest differences between man and Vampire are psychological.
I've seen many of Hollywood's depictions of the transformation from man to Vampire and the concept for the most part is ridiculous. One day you're a man hitting "rock bottom" in life and the next, you're equipped with fangs, super strength, speed and elusiveness and the gift of immortality. At the same time, you're told that you have to say goodbye to your friends and family forever, prey on those who were once your peers and never be in the presence of sunlight again. I can't see anyone going through that change overnight without having a nervous breakdown. I mean, who undergoes that kind of dynamic change in that amount of time without completely losing their mind? A lot of the characters in the stories have an identity crisis before the metamorphosis. Are we really supposed to believe that the same person finds solace in an over night transformation of that magnitude? It's not like the character just dyed his hair or bought a new wardrobe. It's like someone telling you that tomorrow you're going to start living as a bear, or a tiger, or an owl and you're going to continue that lifestyle for the rest of your days. How realistic would that be?
The truth is that most of the differences of humans and Vampires boil down to very few gene differences and a lot of psychological differences. Vampire have been bred to be dominant and aggressive in our environment, in order to survive. Your societies have bred you to be humble and passive, in order to more easily control you. I can show you how to live as Vampire. I'm not promising anyone anything at this point, but I CAN provide a "gene therapy" to help awaken genes that have been dormant inside you for thousands of years. If subjected to this "therapy", you will begin to form longer, sharper canine teeth. You will begin to become sensitive to UV rays, particularly sunlight. Your organs such as your liver, lungs and heart, as well as your adrenal glands will begin to accelerate in performance. I can offer you these things if we agree that you are ready, but you must first begin to devolve mentally. You must unlearn the "normal reactions" to various encounters and situations.
The process isn't as complicated as it may sound. Let me ask you which concept seems more likely to be the truth: When you as a teenager go through what your society calls "teenage angst" or "hormones", is that (A.) A period of time in your life when you are coming into adulthood and hormones are raging out of control and though no other in the animal kingdom, no other intelligent mammal displays such traits, you feel it necessary to rebel against the constructs that have been built by your species, your governments, your pastors, even your parents as you suffer through bouts of depression, rage and other seemingly unnecessary emotions? OR (B.)Your species has been bred generation after generation, century after century to behave and respond to commands with compliance and passiveness, in order to be more easily controlled by those few who are in power and your feelings are nothing more than a logical reaction to being "raped" into the ways of your parents, pastors, teachers, congressmen?
Take a look at the news in your city, country, your planet. It's easy to see who the ones in control are. And it's easy to see that many of them are breaking laws that you are taught to abide by. What do you think would happen if you broke one of these laws? Would you get the same treatment? You have been bred to be passive, subservient...a slave. Your so called "raging hormones" or "teenage angst" was nothing more than your reluctance to surrender your animal instincts that you were born with. The instincts that allowed your ancestors to survive since they began to stand upright.
The transformation back to the true nature of what you were meant to be, is a process and long before you develop the over-sized canines and enhanced strength and speed, you will already be aware that these things make very little difference compared to the new perceptions, reactions and thought process you've gained. Becoming Vampire is a process that begins in your mind and starts with the process of learning to bleed out all the bullshit that has been instilled in your upbringing, your schooling, your religion and your government. If something feels wrong it probably is, even if society tells you it's alright. You should learn to rely on your instincts and intuition more often. They were good enough to get you to the top of the food chain, right? If you're still undecided, take a look at the nearest intelligent mammal. Your neighbor's pet dog or the neighborhood's stray cat usually has the answer you are looking for if you are willing to truly open your eyes and look for it.
I can help every one of you with your transformation, but this is not something you learn from a book. Everyone will move at a different rate and reach different goals at different times. It will be a difficult path to travel because it goes against everything you've been taught. The good news is that if you are alive and breathing today, you possess the genes to make the transformation,
I am in great need of finding my family. I know that there is really nothing to expect at this point, but know that if anyone out there can help me locate even one of them, I will try my best to assure you success in your transformation, as you will have my undivided attention.
Those of you who have read "The Beckoning" are aware of the traits and abilities that separate me from yourselves. I know that to most, I probably come across as enchanted, but I don't think my traits play a big role in your intrigue. I am aware that my abilities have aided me in many situations, but I think that the biggest differences between man and Vampire are psychological.
I've seen many of Hollywood's depictions of the transformation from man to Vampire and the concept for the most part is ridiculous. One day you're a man hitting "rock bottom" in life and the next, you're equipped with fangs, super strength, speed and elusiveness and the gift of immortality. At the same time, you're told that you have to say goodbye to your friends and family forever, prey on those who were once your peers and never be in the presence of sunlight again. I can't see anyone going through that change overnight without having a nervous breakdown. I mean, who undergoes that kind of dynamic change in that amount of time without completely losing their mind? A lot of the characters in the stories have an identity crisis before the metamorphosis. Are we really supposed to believe that the same person finds solace in an over night transformation of that magnitude? It's not like the character just dyed his hair or bought a new wardrobe. It's like someone telling you that tomorrow you're going to start living as a bear, or a tiger, or an owl and you're going to continue that lifestyle for the rest of your days. How realistic would that be?
The truth is that most of the differences of humans and Vampires boil down to very few gene differences and a lot of psychological differences. Vampire have been bred to be dominant and aggressive in our environment, in order to survive. Your societies have bred you to be humble and passive, in order to more easily control you. I can show you how to live as Vampire. I'm not promising anyone anything at this point, but I CAN provide a "gene therapy" to help awaken genes that have been dormant inside you for thousands of years. If subjected to this "therapy", you will begin to form longer, sharper canine teeth. You will begin to become sensitive to UV rays, particularly sunlight. Your organs such as your liver, lungs and heart, as well as your adrenal glands will begin to accelerate in performance. I can offer you these things if we agree that you are ready, but you must first begin to devolve mentally. You must unlearn the "normal reactions" to various encounters and situations.
The process isn't as complicated as it may sound. Let me ask you which concept seems more likely to be the truth: When you as a teenager go through what your society calls "teenage angst" or "hormones", is that (A.) A period of time in your life when you are coming into adulthood and hormones are raging out of control and though no other in the animal kingdom, no other intelligent mammal displays such traits, you feel it necessary to rebel against the constructs that have been built by your species, your governments, your pastors, even your parents as you suffer through bouts of depression, rage and other seemingly unnecessary emotions? OR (B.)Your species has been bred generation after generation, century after century to behave and respond to commands with compliance and passiveness, in order to be more easily controlled by those few who are in power and your feelings are nothing more than a logical reaction to being "raped" into the ways of your parents, pastors, teachers, congressmen?
Take a look at the news in your city, country, your planet. It's easy to see who the ones in control are. And it's easy to see that many of them are breaking laws that you are taught to abide by. What do you think would happen if you broke one of these laws? Would you get the same treatment? You have been bred to be passive, subservient...a slave. Your so called "raging hormones" or "teenage angst" was nothing more than your reluctance to surrender your animal instincts that you were born with. The instincts that allowed your ancestors to survive since they began to stand upright.
The transformation back to the true nature of what you were meant to be, is a process and long before you develop the over-sized canines and enhanced strength and speed, you will already be aware that these things make very little difference compared to the new perceptions, reactions and thought process you've gained. Becoming Vampire is a process that begins in your mind and starts with the process of learning to bleed out all the bullshit that has been instilled in your upbringing, your schooling, your religion and your government. If something feels wrong it probably is, even if society tells you it's alright. You should learn to rely on your instincts and intuition more often. They were good enough to get you to the top of the food chain, right? If you're still undecided, take a look at the nearest intelligent mammal. Your neighbor's pet dog or the neighborhood's stray cat usually has the answer you are looking for if you are willing to truly open your eyes and look for it.
I can help every one of you with your transformation, but this is not something you learn from a book. Everyone will move at a different rate and reach different goals at different times. It will be a difficult path to travel because it goes against everything you've been taught. The good news is that if you are alive and breathing today, you possess the genes to make the transformation,
I am in great need of finding my family. I know that there is really nothing to expect at this point, but know that if anyone out there can help me locate even one of them, I will try my best to assure you success in your transformation, as you will have my undivided attention.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
TRUTH
Hi Taylor,
I DO remember you from last weekend. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. The truth is that I've spent the last several days debating on how to respond. I wasn't sure if I should respond by phone or a personal e-mail, or make my response public on this blog. The primary goal of this website and book is to reconnect me with my family. Even though what I divulge may be dangerous for myself, my loved ones and possibly anyone who becomes privileged to the truth, I feel I have no choice if I wish to accomplish my what I set out to do.
So here goes nothing. Everything in the book is true. "The Beckoning" is for the most part verbatim as told to Derek, my memories and recent experiences. By "for the most part" I mean that Derek added in some colorful adjectives and such, but the happenings are quite real. I know this probably seems impossible to take in, but it's all really a simple matter of evolution.
My kind: we are not so different from you. Aside from our few physical attributes and that enable and hinder us, we are what humans would have become, were you all not so caught us in your societies' agendas. You have to acknowledge the plagues that particular religions and politics have bestowed upon your kind throughout history. They have twisted your perceptions and reactions to certain behaviors. Look around you at the other animals that co-inside with each other in your realms. Look at all of nature in your environment. Watch how it all reacts in unison. Now look at human-kind and how out of its element it has become. Do YOU believe that what you see around you is what "Man" was meant to become? I don't think any of you truly believe that.
You have gained a great deal of knowledge of myself and other Vampire by reading of my memories and accounts, but there is still a great deal to be learned. You have genes and behaviors inside you that have been laid dormant by your societies over centuries of brainwashing and breeding out instincts that the pharaohs, kings, emperors, presidents etc. did not wish for you to possess. Most humans have been bred to be controlled and to follow. The ones in control call it names like "civilized" and particularly in your part of the world "law abiding citizen". The ones who control you preach that it is intelligent to be passive and subservient, while generation after generation you watch the world grow colder and more hopeless as the ones who control prosper off the backs of those who have been "trained" to allow it.
Search your true feelings and you will acknowledge not only that I am right, but that "The Beckoning" is the most accurate and elaborate explanation of your purpose and destiny that you've ever known. It's not just about Vampire, it is about man-kind as well. You are not the only one that feels a great void in your life that can't seem to be fulfilled. You ALL feel this way. People of all ethnic, social, geographic backgrounds, you all try and fill "the void" with different things from jobs to religion, to alcohol and drugs, to various relationships and sex. All these pass-times to attempt to fill that dogmatic emptiness.
There is a reason for the emptiness and that is because you are all taught to deny your true self. I can help you if you would like. I was always taught never to instruct "man" on the journey to becoming Vampire, but given the circumstances and the recent events that have unfolded, maybe it is time that a chosen few open minded individuals become privy to knowledge that has been kept secret for thousands of years.
I DO remember you from last weekend. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. The truth is that I've spent the last several days debating on how to respond. I wasn't sure if I should respond by phone or a personal e-mail, or make my response public on this blog. The primary goal of this website and book is to reconnect me with my family. Even though what I divulge may be dangerous for myself, my loved ones and possibly anyone who becomes privileged to the truth, I feel I have no choice if I wish to accomplish my what I set out to do.
So here goes nothing. Everything in the book is true. "The Beckoning" is for the most part verbatim as told to Derek, my memories and recent experiences. By "for the most part" I mean that Derek added in some colorful adjectives and such, but the happenings are quite real. I know this probably seems impossible to take in, but it's all really a simple matter of evolution.
My kind: we are not so different from you. Aside from our few physical attributes and that enable and hinder us, we are what humans would have become, were you all not so caught us in your societies' agendas. You have to acknowledge the plagues that particular religions and politics have bestowed upon your kind throughout history. They have twisted your perceptions and reactions to certain behaviors. Look around you at the other animals that co-inside with each other in your realms. Look at all of nature in your environment. Watch how it all reacts in unison. Now look at human-kind and how out of its element it has become. Do YOU believe that what you see around you is what "Man" was meant to become? I don't think any of you truly believe that.
You have gained a great deal of knowledge of myself and other Vampire by reading of my memories and accounts, but there is still a great deal to be learned. You have genes and behaviors inside you that have been laid dormant by your societies over centuries of brainwashing and breeding out instincts that the pharaohs, kings, emperors, presidents etc. did not wish for you to possess. Most humans have been bred to be controlled and to follow. The ones in control call it names like "civilized" and particularly in your part of the world "law abiding citizen". The ones who control you preach that it is intelligent to be passive and subservient, while generation after generation you watch the world grow colder and more hopeless as the ones who control prosper off the backs of those who have been "trained" to allow it.
Search your true feelings and you will acknowledge not only that I am right, but that "The Beckoning" is the most accurate and elaborate explanation of your purpose and destiny that you've ever known. It's not just about Vampire, it is about man-kind as well. You are not the only one that feels a great void in your life that can't seem to be fulfilled. You ALL feel this way. People of all ethnic, social, geographic backgrounds, you all try and fill "the void" with different things from jobs to religion, to alcohol and drugs, to various relationships and sex. All these pass-times to attempt to fill that dogmatic emptiness.
There is a reason for the emptiness and that is because you are all taught to deny your true self. I can help you if you would like. I was always taught never to instruct "man" on the journey to becoming Vampire, but given the circumstances and the recent events that have unfolded, maybe it is time that a chosen few open minded individuals become privy to knowledge that has been kept secret for thousands of years.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
exploring
I'm up early today. I feel I slept well, which is still somewhat rare. It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, but I've been out of the country and I had trouble obtaining wi-fi. I think it may be the laptop that is at fault. I got a lead from the investigative company that Derek hired for me. The lead took me from my current location, to Maryland, then New York, then Montreal. Lots of travel, time and money just to wind up at a dead end.
I returned to the apartment Thursday night, miserable of course. Derek insisted I accompany him to a social gathering at a local club last night in an attempt to get my mind off things. I kindly obliged. The book sales are going great and he's been ecstatic about it for the past couple of weeks. We had a long talk Friday night after the social engagement. He told me that he had to constantly emotionally distance himself from me, because he felt I was "the greatest find of all time" and not being able to tell anyone of my true background was proving to be a terribly difficult feat. He said that becoming a close friend would only make things more complicated. I told him that I understood and thanked him for his silence on the matter.
The gathering was at a local club Derek frequented with some of his college buddies. The music there was a mix of current rock and hip hop. As a particular song began, bass pulsed through the establishment in pounding waves. For a moment in my mind, I was on the dance floor with Riley again. The thought brought me discomfort, but it was more tolerable than previous times that I had caught myself reminiscing. I had a few conversations with Derek's peers, then feeling adventurous I told my buzzed room mate that I would see him at the apartment later that night and excused myself to explore the surrounding bars and clubs. All in all I would say it was a good night. A breath of fresh air from the usual.
I returned to the apartment Thursday night, miserable of course. Derek insisted I accompany him to a social gathering at a local club last night in an attempt to get my mind off things. I kindly obliged. The book sales are going great and he's been ecstatic about it for the past couple of weeks. We had a long talk Friday night after the social engagement. He told me that he had to constantly emotionally distance himself from me, because he felt I was "the greatest find of all time" and not being able to tell anyone of my true background was proving to be a terribly difficult feat. He said that becoming a close friend would only make things more complicated. I told him that I understood and thanked him for his silence on the matter.
The gathering was at a local club Derek frequented with some of his college buddies. The music there was a mix of current rock and hip hop. As a particular song began, bass pulsed through the establishment in pounding waves. For a moment in my mind, I was on the dance floor with Riley again. The thought brought me discomfort, but it was more tolerable than previous times that I had caught myself reminiscing. I had a few conversations with Derek's peers, then feeling adventurous I told my buzzed room mate that I would see him at the apartment later that night and excused myself to explore the surrounding bars and clubs. All in all I would say it was a good night. A breath of fresh air from the usual.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Windtalker
Another week of work. I won't bore you with the details, because there's really nothing to mention. The days drag by and I feel myself infinite times more lonely than the previous day. Derek and I "small talk" on occasion, but he is usually busy with work or dating or various other things. I have met a few people at work who are friendly enough, but I don't know that I can trust them with too much information, so forming a relationship proves to be very difficult. I will try and write more often, but I would love to have a response, so it doesn't feel like I'm just talking into the wind.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Occupied
I realize I haven't been on in quite a while, Derek helped me find some employment and it has kept me very occupied though things are slowing quite a bit now. I've also taken interest in checking out the local "Occupy" group. I think it is a step in the right direction for the most part, but I also think that some of the expectations of the group by some members are unrealistic. I hope that the level headed members with good intentions and ideas prosper and I hope they collaborate with like-minded individuals from other cities and states in order to make positive transitions more efficiently. I'm not yet sure that I agree with the group as a whole, as I'm not educated in all of the causes they stand for. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where it goes.
My job is mundane,but I'm happy to have it. I work third shift of course and I get paid "under the table". I got paid today and I offered to pay Derek rent for letting me stay at his place, but he refused. He told me he wouldn't accept payment until I was back on my feet. I bought some non perishables and delivered them to those camped out at the "Occupy" site, then I purchased a prepay Visa debit card so I could rent movies without alerting authorities to my location. I rented a few movies including one
called "Nosferatu". I think it was made in the 1930's. It's about Vampires. I have a natural interest of course, but I find most Vampire movies cheesy and good to view when I'm in the mood for a comedy. I also picked up a couple of packs of bacon for myself, so the plan is to spend my night munching and watching night crawlers like myself. LOL
There is now a large group of private investigators who are trying to track down my family. No word yet and leads are difficult to come by to say the least. I think my people may all be constantly moving to avoid detection. I dream of the day we are reunited.
So does anyone out there have an opinion of the "Occupy" groups? If you're reading this, write in and let me know.
My job is mundane,but I'm happy to have it. I work third shift of course and I get paid "under the table". I got paid today and I offered to pay Derek rent for letting me stay at his place, but he refused. He told me he wouldn't accept payment until I was back on my feet. I bought some non perishables and delivered them to those camped out at the "Occupy" site, then I purchased a prepay Visa debit card so I could rent movies without alerting authorities to my location. I rented a few movies including one
called "Nosferatu". I think it was made in the 1930's. It's about Vampires. I have a natural interest of course, but I find most Vampire movies cheesy and good to view when I'm in the mood for a comedy. I also picked up a couple of packs of bacon for myself, so the plan is to spend my night munching and watching night crawlers like myself. LOL
There is now a large group of private investigators who are trying to track down my family. No word yet and leads are difficult to come by to say the least. I think my people may all be constantly moving to avoid detection. I dream of the day we are reunited.
So does anyone out there have an opinion of the "Occupy" groups? If you're reading this, write in and let me know.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
chemistry
For Derek to have approached me with such a strong introduction, he has proven to be much less talkative than anticipated. I'm sure he's intelligent, but he hides behind a very commercial and fake personality. He hasn't discussed why and I don't push for answers. I feel I will find them in due time. The situation does however leave me evermore wishing for someone to engage me in real conversation or at least some kind of favorable connection.
As a kind gesture, Derek lined me up with a blind date this past Saturday in the late evening. I told him that it was still too soon for me to consider taking on a romantic partner, but he insisted. He's been the greatest help that I could have hoped for thus far, so I decided I would oblige, if out of nothing more than gratitude.
Her name is Krista and she's a third year med student in a predominant ivy league college in one of the neighboring towns. She's very intelligent, witty and shy, with a somewhat awkward sense of humor. Dinner went well enough and she had a very unique perception of some chemistry related concepts that we had both found to be interesting in our schooling. As we ended our dinner and hopped a cab to a nearby theater, the mood got a little cozier and like I said before, my pheromones can have very different effects on people, particularly of the opposite sex.
Most of the time women that behave very conservative, end of giggling like young school girls and tripping over their words, you know very insecure and childlike. I wasn't expecting much different from Krista, but as we sat side by side in the back seat of the cab, I continued my argument on the chemistry based concepts and Krista clammed up in a shell of aloofness. She had made about a foot and a half of space between us by the time we approached the cinema and she sat a seat apart from me for the movie. We shared a cab home and as it was approaching her apartment I asked if I'd said something wrong. She quickly assured me that it was no wrong doing on my part and that she simply just felt very awkward in my presence.
I thanked her for her honesty and told her that she could always call me if she wanted to discuss compound chemicals and the like. I opened the door for her when the cab approached her apartment and gave her what probably seemed like a brotherly kiss on the forehead and again thanked her for a wonderful evening. That was a great exaggeration of course, but there was no reason to be rude. She said she'd give me a call sometime, but I seriously doubt that she will. I don't mind as I don't think I'm ready to start another relationship just yet...I'm not sure I ever will be.
As a kind gesture, Derek lined me up with a blind date this past Saturday in the late evening. I told him that it was still too soon for me to consider taking on a romantic partner, but he insisted. He's been the greatest help that I could have hoped for thus far, so I decided I would oblige, if out of nothing more than gratitude.
Her name is Krista and she's a third year med student in a predominant ivy league college in one of the neighboring towns. She's very intelligent, witty and shy, with a somewhat awkward sense of humor. Dinner went well enough and she had a very unique perception of some chemistry related concepts that we had both found to be interesting in our schooling. As we ended our dinner and hopped a cab to a nearby theater, the mood got a little cozier and like I said before, my pheromones can have very different effects on people, particularly of the opposite sex.
Most of the time women that behave very conservative, end of giggling like young school girls and tripping over their words, you know very insecure and childlike. I wasn't expecting much different from Krista, but as we sat side by side in the back seat of the cab, I continued my argument on the chemistry based concepts and Krista clammed up in a shell of aloofness. She had made about a foot and a half of space between us by the time we approached the cinema and she sat a seat apart from me for the movie. We shared a cab home and as it was approaching her apartment I asked if I'd said something wrong. She quickly assured me that it was no wrong doing on my part and that she simply just felt very awkward in my presence.
I thanked her for her honesty and told her that she could always call me if she wanted to discuss compound chemicals and the like. I opened the door for her when the cab approached her apartment and gave her what probably seemed like a brotherly kiss on the forehead and again thanked her for a wonderful evening. That was a great exaggeration of course, but there was no reason to be rude. She said she'd give me a call sometime, but I seriously doubt that she will. I don't mind as I don't think I'm ready to start another relationship just yet...I'm not sure I ever will be.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Beckoning
I never called Derek, but I ran into him at the coffee shop the very next weekend. I purchased a coffee and joined him just outside the cafe. We sat at an uneven, squeaky wrought-iron table, and he informed me that he had been thinking of my dilemma all week and had come up with a brilliant idea.
He went through three hours and almost a full pack of Marlboro lights explaining his concept. The gist of it was this: write my happenings as fiction and distribute it on a mass scale. The government officials who hunted me would never seek answers in the newest fiction novel, but if the novel contained details that only my family were privileged to, then it would prove my authenticity and thus they would contact me.
Could this actually work? I guess we will find out as Nolen The Beckoning is just that. Derek also informed me that he had friends in publishing and marketing and had a few documents published himself. He was more than happy to walk me though each step. I could see the enthusiasm in his eyes.
As the night progressed, I explained more of the situation. Not every detail, but enough for him to insist I crash on the couch at his place and use his spare laptop to record my story as fast and as accurately as possible. To keep things from getting weird I made him agree that no matter what I wrote or how I explained things it was understood to be fiction.
He went through three hours and almost a full pack of Marlboro lights explaining his concept. The gist of it was this: write my happenings as fiction and distribute it on a mass scale. The government officials who hunted me would never seek answers in the newest fiction novel, but if the novel contained details that only my family were privileged to, then it would prove my authenticity and thus they would contact me.
Could this actually work? I guess we will find out as Nolen The Beckoning is just that. Derek also informed me that he had friends in publishing and marketing and had a few documents published himself. He was more than happy to walk me though each step. I could see the enthusiasm in his eyes.
As the night progressed, I explained more of the situation. Not every detail, but enough for him to insist I crash on the couch at his place and use his spare laptop to record my story as fast and as accurately as possible. To keep things from getting weird I made him agree that no matter what I wrote or how I explained things it was understood to be fiction.
Monday, September 26, 2011
how I met Derek
I'd been frequenting a 24 hour coffee shop. That's where i met my most useful resource who is helping me in my search. A man named Derek approached me at the shop one night and invited himself to my table. I'm not used to this type of reaction from strangers, as my pheromones usually ward off any curiosity men may have. I hadn't seen this kind of confidence in a person since Conrad. "You look like you could use a friend," he reassuringly proclaimed as he seated himself across from me, placing his coffee and biscotti before him. I nodded and introduced myself. We talked for hours, each of us equally sharing in the conversation. Time passed more quickly than it had in quite a while, a welcome break from my loneliness since everything had happened. I was vague about my story but explained that I had recently lost everything that meant something to me, including my family. I then took a chance and revealed to him that I couldn't rely on authorities to help me find my relatives because I was "wanted" by such authorities--and my relatives were as well. He seemed trustworthy enough...besides i thought to myself, what's the worst that could happen.
Derek's a short, well put-together individual that looks young for a man in his thirties. My first impression was that he was articulate and seemingly afraid of nothing. He informed me that he was a graduate of a local community college with a degree in business and an eye for marketing. He said he currently worked for a global business as a general manager and was returning to school in a semester or two for advertising. It was the weekend, which he had off from work and though he had only stopped in for a cup of coffee to sober up from a night of clubbing and bar hopping, he stayed and conversed with me until sunrise was approaching, and then I had to excuse myself for the evening. As I departed, he placed his business card in my hand as he shook it. He said the card had his cell number on it and that he enjoyed the evening and thought i was interesting and held wonderful conversation. He said he'd love to talk again, the next time I felt up to it.
I said i would, and thanked him for letting me get some things off my chest. He shouted good luck as I exited the shop.
Derek's a short, well put-together individual that looks young for a man in his thirties. My first impression was that he was articulate and seemingly afraid of nothing. He informed me that he was a graduate of a local community college with a degree in business and an eye for marketing. He said he currently worked for a global business as a general manager and was returning to school in a semester or two for advertising. It was the weekend, which he had off from work and though he had only stopped in for a cup of coffee to sober up from a night of clubbing and bar hopping, he stayed and conversed with me until sunrise was approaching, and then I had to excuse myself for the evening. As I departed, he placed his business card in my hand as he shook it. He said the card had his cell number on it and that he enjoyed the evening and thought i was interesting and held wonderful conversation. He said he'd love to talk again, the next time I felt up to it.
I said i would, and thanked him for letting me get some things off my chest. He shouted good luck as I exited the shop.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
back streets
I had to delete my meetup blog due to suspected tracking by government officials, so this is my second attempt to reach out to my family or anyone else willing to help me.
Some time has passed since I began dwelling in the abandoned building. After a week or two of letting everything soak in and feeling distraught and hopeless I decided to scout the area, if nothing more than to see what resources may be of use to me. Besides, I was sick of feeding off rats and hoped that chasing some wild game might get some serotonin flowing through my blood. No matter what street name or surrounding, everything looked and felt the same…cold and lonely. The few fragments of time when the thought what happened escaped my mind was pure bliss followed by torture.
A few nights ago while walking a busy street around 2am a bar was closing up. As a group of college aged men and women exited I overheard one of the men telling a joke. The delivery was clever and well timed. I laughed quietly to myself. As his accompanying lady heard the punchline, she let out a playful laugh and her eyes lit up with content. It’s at that moment that a horrible blanket of guilt covered my very essence and my eyes began to flood with tears. How could I forget her. I found solace in a back alley where I bawled for hours.
Some time has passed since I began dwelling in the abandoned building. After a week or two of letting everything soak in and feeling distraught and hopeless I decided to scout the area, if nothing more than to see what resources may be of use to me. Besides, I was sick of feeding off rats and hoped that chasing some wild game might get some serotonin flowing through my blood. No matter what street name or surrounding, everything looked and felt the same…cold and lonely. The few fragments of time when the thought what happened escaped my mind was pure bliss followed by torture.
A few nights ago while walking a busy street around 2am a bar was closing up. As a group of college aged men and women exited I overheard one of the men telling a joke. The delivery was clever and well timed. I laughed quietly to myself. As his accompanying lady heard the punchline, she let out a playful laugh and her eyes lit up with content. It’s at that moment that a horrible blanket of guilt covered my very essence and my eyes began to flood with tears. How could I forget her. I found solace in a back alley where I bawled for hours.
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