I had to delete my meetup blog due to suspected tracking by government officials, so this is my second attempt to reach out to my family or anyone else willing to help me.
Some time has passed since I began dwelling in the abandoned building. After a week or two of letting everything soak in and feeling distraught and hopeless I decided to scout the area, if nothing more than to see what resources may be of use to me. Besides, I was sick of feeding off rats and hoped that chasing some wild game might get some serotonin flowing through my blood. No matter what street name or surrounding, everything looked and felt the same…cold and lonely. The few fragments of time when the thought what happened escaped my mind was pure bliss followed by torture.
A few nights ago while walking a busy street around 2am a bar was closing up. As a group of college aged men and women exited I overheard one of the men telling a joke. The delivery was clever and well timed. I laughed quietly to myself. As his accompanying lady heard the punchline, she let out a playful laugh and her eyes lit up with content. It’s at that moment that a horrible blanket of guilt covered my very essence and my eyes began to flood with tears. How could I forget her. I found solace in a back alley where I bawled for hours.
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