Asch only scratched the surface

Priority 1: Self preservation Priority 2: Reproduce This is what we are taught, but it's not what I see. People give their lives in the pursuit of acceptance or due to lack of it. Would this not mean that there's a precedence to self preservation? Suicide cults, military, suicide bombers all willing to give their lives. The Asch experiment on conformity proves that we'll sacrifice what we know is right, in order to "fit in". It is my belief that the Asch experiment only scratched the surface of what we will do, in order to be accepted by the ones we wish to emulate. Priority 1: Acceptance Priority 2: Self preservation Priority 3: Reproduce It doesn't make sense psychologically, but it does explain society much clearer, don't you think? What does this say about our psychology, our nature, our future, our destiny, our purpose? I am very interested in feedback from those of you, who have an opinion, whether it is in agreement to my post, or the contrary.

they leave their scent on everything they touch

Funding for my search runs low. Perhaps the search itself is futile. I spoke with Derek on the subject via Skype, a few days ago. He said he may have options available to me in order to prolong my search, but I didn't like the tone in his voice. I could just be paranoid. I must admit I'm at a disadvantage when conversing with someone by phone, as I cannot detect the scent of fear, adrenaline and other emotions and chemicals that one may attempt to elude from me. The militia continues to expand the perimeter, but there have been a few setbacks due to visits from certain politicians. Homeland Security is thorough when securing territory. The government's security and surveillance is an ever-growing threat to me. Some days I fear that the time of confrontation, quickly approaches. Other days I long for it and it doesn't seem to come quick enough. For now I watch them, attempting to watch me. They are sure to watch all of you. It's a good thing they leave their scent on everything they touch. I find their audio and video surveillance equipment disguised as rocks, behind vinyl siding panels, in air-conditioning units, fixed atop radio antennas, billboards, trees, you name it. I remove the ones I can ( meaning when I can make it look like an accident, malfunction or "act of god"). When I can't I make sure to document the location for myself, as well as the militia. I've yet to spot a "drone" plane and I often wonder if they've spotted me. The only defense I have against them is to listen to the night sky, change my location often and use extreme caution when leaving and returning to the compound.

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

Sex: No matter what trends come and go, no matter what the politicians, priests and parents tell you, sex will always be a priority. Scientists rank it as #2, just behind self preservation. Religions can tell you it's good or bad, government can control it or liberate it, parents can condone it or forbid it...all in all, you're still going to have sex. It is the primal urge that supersedes anything that anyone could ever teach you. It is the "animal" in us that refuses to die. Drugs: The drugs referred to in the phrase "sex, drugs and rock and roll are considered "recreational drugs". Most of them have had some sort of "healing" qualities in the past and have been part of medical practice. These days many of them are banned or illegal and usually taken in larger quantities than prescribed by doctors. There are countless numbers of narcotics, with countless effects, but they all seem to alter your perception of your environment, if taken in particular doses. They all seem to affect how you react to your environment. You "think differently". To be under the influence of recreational narcotics, is not considered "mainstream". Your thoughts and actions and influence, is not "mainstream". Rock and Roll: At the time that the phrase "sex, drugs and rock and roll" came to be used, rock and roll was a term used to describe any non-secular type music that encourage any form of non-conformity. Today's genre's would also include much of hip-hop, rock and roll, of course, heavy metal, alternative and many other forms of music that promote turning your speakers full volume and "losing yourself" in the music, or promoting a non-conformist attitude. Religious leaders have condemned sex, drugs and rock and roll at one time or another. Usually relating the acts to evil and violence. I find this to be disturbing, when more people have committed genocide, murder, rape and torture of others, in the name of religion than sex, drugs and rock and roll together. You can add in hip-hop, heavy metal and all the others if you wish and religion still wins by a long shot. If you would like you can throw in sex and drugs also...religion still wins. This brings me to the scientific conclusion that it may be safer and surely more humane to "go along with" sex, drugs and/ or rock and roll, and leave religion for conformist, delusional, genocidal, maniacs...or the general public, as you may call them.

The treeline

I grasp at ideas, like sparks of light that float above a bonfire. I hold them tightly, desperately, in hopes of finding a solution. I feel their energy surge through me in a flicker of hope. I watch them turn to ash, as I realize it's only another futile concept. My mind is coming unraveled without her. In the beginning I wasn't sure how long I could resist confrontation with them. Now I'm not sure that I want to resist. Perhaps I would rather insist on confrontation, on conflict, on carnage. As I fed earlier tonight, I decided to continue my hunt on other prey. Not necessarily to feed, as I was filled from my first kill of the evening. I hunted and tracked, just for kill. I spotted my prey sitting about a hundred yards off. As I slowly moved in, I thought about the ones who attacked Derek a while ago. I thought about the ones at the airstrip. I stopped about thirty yards out from the unsuspecting victim and let my anger surge through my veins, letting out a thunderous roar. The "soon to be victim" peered up and fixed his gaze directly on me. He seemed to be contemplating or waiting further action on my part. As I clinched my fists and contorted into a "launching" position, like a runner at the starting line, my prey shook from his gaze. He quickly darted toward the nearest treeline. The ground shook beneath me as I took my first strides. As the adrenaline began pounding into my temples, I accelerated further. I was closing in quickly. The exhausted prey running off pure adrenaline, slowly decelerated and quickly glanced back at his attacker. He was several feet from the treeline. Once inside, he could hide in one of countless places. How close he had come to being my sacrifice. He had underestimated me. As he glanced back at me, I leaped forward. He had just enough time to resume his position toward the treeline, before my fingertips came from behind and grasped his fragile throat. I squeezed as my body's momentum brought me ever-closer to him. I squeezed harder still as my salivating fangs, made themselves known to his flesh. Both our hearts beat infinite times in that moment, as my gums and my tongue and the roof of my palate, felt his warm vitality flow forth. I gripped him tighter as his body twisted and jerked in an attempt to flee. My right forefinger tore through the side of his spine as I grasped and bit and tore in a rage and fit of adrenaline, anger and testosterone. Just beyond the treeline, his female and offspring, watched in horror. I had caught a glimpse of them all, just before making contact with the "now deceased". As I stood feeding off his twitching carcass, I expected my humanity to over-ride my crazed fit and deliver unmeasurable remorse...but nothing. The flow of testosterone weakened into waves and as they came and went, I felt no remorse, no regret, only hungrier for more. I viewed the family, frozen in petrification. I looked each of them in the eye, then while viewing them all and having their paternal figure limp in my teeth, I let out a low grumble. The family shot through the forest and into the darkness. This was the first time in a while, I hadn't felt like "the victim". I felt powerful...not because I had made the kill, but because I wasn't running. I wasn't hiding. I was the aggressor...the harbinger. Was this going to make me feel better about what happened at the airstrip...NO! ...But it might be a step in the right direction.

The lost symbiosis between man-kind and Vampire

Not an eventful weekend. As I watch tonight, I do not know if it is evidence of solace that I seek or evidence to the contrary. I no longer feel empathy for the society I once aspired to join. There will never again be a symbiosis between man-kind and Vampire. A resolution will soon come to pass...it must.

Restraint does not become me

I arise this evening jaded with thoughts of vengeance. I watch atop my favorite balcony, jaded with thoughts of vengeance. I gnash my teeth in disgust and rage at the thought of what I've lost to the insecurities of man. I don't believe all of you to be this way, but like others before me, I feel backed into a corner...tortured. It is easy to stereotype, when you view nothing but scattered, hurried illusion of progress. If I were to act on impulse, it would mean a great awakening for mankind, as I smashed the illusion that man is at the top of the food chain...the evolutionary ladder. I watch day after day, the mundane bustling of everyone going nowhere. Like ants who scatter. I would be a candle that someone has ignited and planted atop the mound. The ants scurry out, one by one, ascending the candle to attack the flame...and one by one, meeting their demise. Their attack is ill-thought and of haste and panic. It is futile. I wear the Great Phoenix upon my palm. I am a warrior...a harbinger of death. As the nights pass, I see less and less logic in restraint. Should I not react to the vile disregard that I was given? Do I not reign supreme over the ones who partake in the search for my kind? Am I not Vampire? I have instructed a small group of the militia, to seek out locations of various "violators of the peace", between man and Vampire. I have sought answers from Derek about the airstrip and the operation that was carried out that night. I will have my justice...my vengeance.

It's not okay

Another lonely night. Derek has gone and the militia men, constantly scout throughout the night in shifts, in order to further expand a safe perimeter. The men tell me that revolt is inevitable. If they had spoken to me before the happening at the airstrip about such things, I would have passed them off as paranoid, conspiracy theorists. I can no longer view them in this manner, for I have seen the inhumanity of soldiers and agents. I have seen the callousness of politicians and other officials. It seems as if man, and this country in particular, is hell-bent on waging war with others. The wars are not fought over rights of men, women and children. The wars are not fought over rights to medicines and nourishment. The wars are over greed, pride and lust to be the most dominant. The ones in charge, indoctrinate segregation to anyone who does not dress like you, talk like you, believe in your beliefs. You are taught that if they're not like you, their intentions must be evil, negative or violent. You suffer from over-exposure to the idea that it's okay to commit violent acts, murder and even genocide, to those who are different. Bombs light up the night sky in villages. Defenses are smashed, businesses are smashed, churches are smashed, schools are smashed, homes are smashed. Father's hold their wives and tell them "it will be okay". Wives hold their crying children and tell them "it will be okay". Hours go bye and bombs light up the night sky. Dead children are held by their mothers. Dead mothers are held by their dead husbands. It's not okay. What happened on that airstrip, was inspired by greed, pride and lust to be the most dominant. The ones who gave the orders, have the nerve to portray me as a monster. Do they even know what I am, what they are, what we could learn from one another? I don't want to hate them, but nothing else makes sense. I think deep down, I've always known what they stood for. I THOUGHT I knew what I stood for. I don't know anymore. I try and remain logical about all this, but my emotions run and my thoughts become discombobulated. I hope I find new answers and reason. If not, I look at man through jaded eyes forevermore.